I never thought I would ever do it. What’s the point of getting physical with someone when you know it isn’t going anywhere? Why waste time lusting over someone who frankly, doesn’t want a relationship?
But of course, I fell down the rabbit hole and tried to do casual dating. I tried my hardest. I really did.
I tried to follow all of the rules that Cosmo told me I should do. I tried not to double text back. I tried not to drunk text or drunk call them. I tried to not stare at them in class, picturing them finally professing their love to me. I tried, and failed worse than the grade I got on my shakespeare midterm.
I wish I could be cool. I wish I could act like ‘casual’ was in my bones, and that I had no feelings whatsoever.
But why the hell would I want to be a robot?
So I stopped following the rules. And I decided to be me. I told the boy from my English class that I thought he was cute. We held hands in December and kissed under the moonlight. I thought to myself, in your face Cosmo, this is actually working.
Boy was I wrong.
The thing you need to know about casual relationships is that you can’t force anyone to feel something they don’t. You can’t force anyone into a relationship when they clearly don’t want to be in one.
So while I was thinking of ways to win them over and ways for them to ask me out again, they were moving onto other people. And while I was daydreaming about kissing these boys again, they were probably taking other girls home with them that very second. Read more