APC or PDP, we are screwed by Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

APC or PDP, we are screwed by  Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

APC or PDP, we are screwed by Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

The next few months will be difficult for us. I am not talking about the
Armageddon that the financial and economic experts are predicting. I know
nothing about that. Besides it doesn’t really matter to me, you know us now,
no matter what, God go see us through. There is a sermon for every situation
and we Christians run with a parallel economy. Please I cannot justify this
but my pastor can, don’t ask me questions. It will be difficult because the
contest that started 4years ago, the tug of war has ended and I really feel
kind of bereft.

It has been an exciting season that has kept every adult entertained.
Newspapers, radio, TV stations and lest we forget social media. Even I have
enjoyed air time holding my colleagues enthralled with my numerous
unverified information and propaganda which I assure them came from a very
reliable source (Chukwuemmy.wordspress but thankfully my colleagues don’t
know that.) The frenzy that has had been built up right to this moment has
reached its crazy exhilarating climax. Yes people, we just came.

I will start with our old lover (PDP). You know how it is between old
lovers. Nothing is new or fresh. It is a marriage and everyone is taking
each other for granted. There was no romance to start with, it was an
arranged marriage. We were willing as well, our Bae was dashing and offered
us a lot of things. The marriage fell flat. Bae was not faithful. We felt
neglected, ignored and plundered. As time went on, we became disillusioned.

And then came APC, the new (well.. maybe repackaged is a better word) lover
walked in with not so much swagger. It was incredible subtle at the start. A
‘how are you doing’ there to a ‘I care about you’ and now before we can say
Amaechi, APC is sprawled on top of us thrusting so hard and we are wondering
how that happened. I love these skilled lovers. They are incredibly
strategic and experienced. They can spot loneliness and dissatisfaction from
a mile. They smell a bitch in heat before she can

figure out why she is
sweating so much. In fact they are so calculating that they can gently
persuade a not-so-happy but loyal madam that her Bae is in a brothel every
night. In fact they will show her pictures and plant receipts in his pocket
and be there to cuddle her when she needs a shoulder to turn to.

Back to our old lover. Someone whispers that madam has been having a
visitor. Bae cannot believe the loyal docile madam can be seeing his
archenemy. Madam that was taken for granted is in the arms of another man.
Then bumbling befuddled Bae is all over the place and making so many
mistakes. He sends the sweeter talker in his family (FFK) to convince us
that the new lover is a fraud. This would have been fine and dandy except
the sweet talker is one that madam has never liked or trusted. Time is going
fast, Bae is buying suya for madam, promising her heaven and earth.
Unfortunately so is new lover. Madam is torn between them. Bae truly looks
like he has finally noticed her but is it too late? New lover is almost too
delicious to resist and has told her not to give Bae a second chance. New
lover is offering heaven and earth

Poor madam, it is exciting to be courted by two men falling over themselves
to outdo each other. It feels powerful. The only thing is this, somewhere
deep down inside, madam knows it will soon end. Then she will be back where
she has always been. Starved, ignored and listening to loads of excuses
while the new Bae is balling.

It sucks for madam because either way you see it, whether Bae or New lover,
madam will still get screwed.

It’s a man’s world.

Use as quote: “It sucks for madam because either way you see it, madam will
still get screwed.”

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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