Ban on mannequins: we’re being sold a dummy! – Peju Akande

Ban on mannequins: we’re being sold a dummy! – Peju Akande

 

I hate mannequins.

 

This is personal. I hate the plastic-faced big-boobs, big-bummed effigies that tailors and clothes sellers use to lure me into buying clothes that eventually won’t look as good on me as it did on the mannequins that wore them in the first place, thus luring me to go purchase the same.

 

 

It’s a sin!

 

It is immoral!

 

 

It’s unkind and it’s deceptive and such deception must be stopped!

 

 

I support the group that insists these two-faced deceptive dummies should truly be banned. Now, I can continue to gain the weight I want to gain; without feeling the need to live up to the standards of a mannequin!

 

ALSO READ: MY SISTER, SUCK BELLE, WE ARE NOT MANNEQUINS  by Peju Akande

 

 

Ban on mannequins: we’re being sold a dummy! – Peju Akande

 

 

I rejoiced when reports said and I quote from Vanguard, “Hisbah Commander-General, Ustaz Harun Muhammad Sani Ibn-Sina declared that the use of mannequins to display clothes is un-Islamic and contravenes the provision of Islamic injunctions, hence the decision to ban the use of the object by tailors, supermarkets, boutique owners and others in the state.’’ 

 

 

Ibn-Sina said the use of the object is also responsible “for immoral thoughts among some members of the public and that which is against teachings of Islam.”

 

Finally, someone has read my thoughts, seen my struggles and decided to put an end to this misery…in Kano.

 

 

Mannequins fuel immoral thoughts. The big bums, especially, are very deceptive. Women are not so shaped! The female mannequins are made to tiptoe. So, the thrust of their breasts and bums is deceptive. Many like me think we can achieve this body shape and when we find we can’t, we are sad and disillusioned.

 

 

When I see clothes on a mannequin, I disregard my body size, height, colour and the fact that I have zero bum. I immediately think that if I purchased the clothes on the mannequin, I’d be transformed to a sexy looking mama; with huge boobs and a bum to die for, just like the mannequin. So, imagine the many times I have bought clothes off a mannequin, worn it and ended up disappointed at the outcome. It’s like being sold a dummy!

 

So I join Hisbah and say, perish all the mannequins and while you’re at it; let Twitter remain banned or suspended or all together forgotten.

 

Let’s join the groups from up North to canvass for the suspension, temporary or not of Facebook. Add WhatsApp to it. In fact, add Telegraph. These are platforms rife with evil and immorality. In fact, add the internet as a whole. It’s full of filthiness.

 

Let’s all go back to the peaceful happy days of my youth when there were no phones or mannequins; or WhatsApp or internet or emails…Those glorious days of yore when we posted mails and it took a blissful two- three weeks to get to the recipient within the country and some four-six weeks out of the country.

 

 

Those days were pure bliss!

 

ALSO READ: ‘Thank you’ and ‘please’ don’t cost a thing by Peju Akande

 

 

Imagine if we still lived in those days. We would wait four days to hear that a bomb went off in Maiduguri. Imagine four blissful days of ignorance and calm.

 

Speaking of bombs, isn’t the fact that western education corrupts the mind the reason behind some groups’ agitation against it? If the government had listened to them earlier on and shut down all schools; would we have them kidnapping school kids today? Our government doesn’t listen, I swear.

 

Now that the dissidents seem to have run out of bombs; kidnapping of children whose parents haven’t learned to keep them away from western education is the order of the day. Finally, 90 percent of schools have been closed down up North.

 

 

 

There’s peace in the region! That’s how it should be.

 

 

I really don’t understand why people are agitating over the ban on mannequins. Beer was banned and alcohol was banned…We were silent. So, why cry over mannequins, you immoral lot?

ALSO READ: What I saw at the mechanic workshop by Peju Akande

 

 

But wait, are all of these bans truly for the benefit of the average Nigerian up North? Or some people just want to witch-hunt a certain group of people for…say their commercial strength?

 

 

Wait, a song is going on in my head – “Now that we’ve found love, what are we gonna do with it?”

 

 

Now that we’ve found life beyond what we are comfortable with, what are we gonna do?

 

 

How are tailors and clothes sellers gonna sell their wares because I know mannequins contribute 70 percent of the reason people buy clothes off the rack…I know that for sure.

 

 

How are we gonna live without our social media platforms? Our GSM phones, our internet access….our lives?

 

 

Let no man be deceived. Whatever we agree to now has consequences for the future. The ban on western education will have consequences in the next 10 to 20 years for the region that stamped out western education…for whatever reason.

 

 

If some people say they will ban certain things in order for some people not to sin; just know that we are all being sold a dummy!

 

 

He who has ears, let him hear!

 

 

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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