Being single on Valentine ’s Day is no sin – Nkem Ndem

Being single on Valentine ’s Day is no sin – Nkem Ndem


It’s that time of year again. February 14th; Valentine’s Day.



The one day specially reserved for romance, and so, if you don’t have a significant other, you feel the pressure to find a date.


For some people, there is nothing worse than spending Valentine’s Day alone, right?


It’s funny but for as long as I can remember, I have been alone on every Valentine’s Day.


Even when I’m in a relationship, it always happens that we cannot be together on the day for reasons beyond our control.


At first, it used to bother me, but over time, I shifted my focus on what the day should be about and I found a way around it.


Rather than look forward to chocolates and flowers from a secret admirer or a man I am in an amorous tangle with, I set it aside as a time for introspection.


I make a self-reflection on how past loves have made me a better person, and giving myself some self-love.


I figured, being single shouldn’t mean Valentine’s Day can’t be celebratory for me too.


I shouldn’t have to feel left out of the festivities!


ALSO READ: ‘Dear husband, stop the jealousy’ – Nkem Ndem


Love comes in many forms and exercising self-love for myself is one of the most important loves I can give to me.


I was trying to get a distraught single colleague to reach my level of zen and enjoy being single on Valentine’s Day when she made a comment that slightly surprised me.


She said: “I feel like you are trying to convince me that you are happy about being single.


Clearly, you are pretending because NO ONE is happy being alone on Valentine’s Day.




It sucks, especially when you are single. And why on earth would anyone want to celebrate being single ever?”


Clearly, being alone on Valentine’s Day was a weird internal conflict for her.


I get it; many single people are often left feeling inadequate and missing out due to the fervent commercialization of the day all around them.


It’s easy to get jealous and frustrated since all the happy couples you know would be sharing cute photos and lovey-dovey status updates all day.


And, if you’re brave enough to go to a bar/restaurant/or movie, you will be surrounded by public displays of affection.


But the statement asking why anyone would want to celebrate being single got to me.


The way I see it, embracing and celebrating being single is a vital opportunity for spiritual and personal growth.


It opens up the pathway for phenomenal wisdom, clarity and gifts to emerge.


When we are comfortable with who we are, and actually enjoy our own company, we become solid people who are happy with life, self-accepting and able to cope with whatever curve balls are thrown at us.


We don’t need a relationship to fill us up, or to fix the gaping holes in our psyche.


We don’t base our self-worth on another’s opinion, or love, and so we aren’t thrown off course so easily.


We have a solid self-esteem based on our own self-worth.

ALSO READ: There is no such thing as a bisexual – Nkem Ndem


And when we do enter a relationship from this space, we expect less and we bring more to the partnership.


This gives us a much higher possibility of having a long-lasting, healthy, happy and positive relationship with someone else.


Perhaps I have digressed a bit but in all of this, I am trying to say that there is an emotional maturity, solidity and bliss that comes from enjoying your own company, relishing in your personal space, your creativity and your inner world.


Embrace your single status even on Valentine’s Day!


Getting to know and love who you are is one of the most spectacular and soulful adventures you’ll ever embark on.


And even more, there are so many ways you actually can enjoy Valentine even if you are single:


. Have your own funny movie marathon, cuddle up on the couch with your pet and a cozy blanket and laugh to your heart’s content.




  • Get together with some of your single friends and have a house party!




And if you’d like to turn your private celebration into a fun party, invite friends of friends who are also members of Singles Club… who knows, you could connect with someone new as love is already in the air.




  • Go for a massage and relieve any tension built up from stress at work or home; a make-over will give you a fresh, exciting look that increases your confidence.


ALSO READ: Nigerian girls can no longer wear panties – Nkem Ndem


  • Treat yourself to something special.


Don’t wait for someone else to give you something which you want or deserve.


If there is something that would make your heart content, go ahead and do it for yourself (you don’t have to break the bank buying anything for anyone too)


Are you single this Valentine? What will you be doing?


Share with me!


About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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