Celebrate fidelity: Why are we making excuses for the norm? – Viola Okolie

Celebrate fidelity: Why are we making excuses for the norm? – Viola Okolie



Nigerians in Post BBNaija Euphoria: We want to “stan” and celebrate the married man in the BBN house for sticking to his marital vows and not cheating or start off a relationship with any other woman, knowing full well that he has a wife on the outside. That is the stuff that good men are made of.


Me: Hah!


Lol. Okay, people. You all need to calm down first and quickly dust up a copy of the marriage oaths and vows that both parties commit to when they decide to get married to each other. I want to check something in there.


This reverse outrage that a married man did what he is expected to do. Stay faithful to his wife in the face of temptations; does not speak well of you all’s opinions of married men in the first instance. And I say this just as I have finished digesting (it was a hard swallow) the video of the Nigerian professor-cum-pastor, fondling university undergraduates to receive inspiration for his sermons.


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Stop it, people.


Stop it.


That Mike remained faithful to his wife, is no news to celebrate. It is like the journalistic “dog bites man” headline. No matter how much you scream it, no matter how bold the type face, however colorful you make it seem – dog bites man is the usual usual.



Celebrate fidelity: Why are we making excuses for the norm? - Viola Okolie


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Hardly anyone would stop in their steps to find out what’s behind the news. Any assumption as to what the human could have done to provoke the canine, would do.


And we are not canines, we are human.


What is news, is “man bites dog”.


Do you get what I mean?


Asking Okorocha to celebrate Mike with a statue is even more demeaning!

I personally think it is an insult and demeaning. And I find it even much more so, when it is Nigerian men proposing that former governor of Imo State, Rochas Okorocha, be temporarily recalled to office so he can commission a contract for the erection of a statue to celebrate Mike.


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A statue for doing what?


For being a regular human being?


Come on now, we need to be extra careful what ideas we propagate especially to the youth who are reading and drawing inferences.


Nobody is polygamous by nature or wait first, let me rephrase that. Everybody is polygamous by nature. But most people choose to apply filters that would enable them live a normal and stress free life, with as minimal worries as possible. So they do the decent and expected thing of every human and remain in a mutually exclusive, beneficial and monogamous relationship.


It is the decent thing to do, there is nothing spectacular or to celebrate about it.


You know, you all cannot be h-angry whenever the Nigerian breed of feminism adherents commence their tired “men are scum” rhetorics and “all men are dogs” (including their fathers, brothers, sons and male relatives – but let’s not tell them yet, shall we?) war chants, and then go ahead to celebrate a man behaving like a man rather than a dog. It doesn’t make sense.


This is no victory for men all over the world. It should be normal for a man to remain faithful to his wife irrespective. We constantly joke about side chicks and cocks. But they should be the exception rather than the rule.


Fidelity in marriage should be a given and not a privilege. It is what it should be.

Some things are standard, basic, expected

There is nothing to celebrate there. If anything should be celebrated, it should be the housemates that went into the house “single and ready to mingle”; yet chose not to.


Not because they had any flaws preventing them from attracting/being attracted to others. Not because they had any vows or oaths at the back of their minds to keep them on the straight and narrow path. And because they did not feel an immediate spark or growing attraction to another housemate.


They simply chose not to perpetuate the belief that the Big Brother House is one of immorality and loose sex.


Instead, they decided to focus on the money which is what brought them into the house in the first place.


Those are the people that should be celebrated.


You don’t celebrate an accountant who works with company money daily for not stealing the money when he can. He is NOT supposed to steal the money but to safeguard it.


Also, you don’t commend a doctor who goes to work daily for healing and not killing his patients. Actually, he is NOT supposed to harm but to heal them.


Further, you do not celebrate a teacher for choosing to impart education in the best way possible to the students under their charge. As a matter of fact, they are NOT supposed to be teaching nonsense.


Do you get where I am going with this?


Some things are standard, basic, expected. Not even because you took a vow. But because they form the base of decent interactions.


Now, a doctor who consistently harms his patients faces misconduct actions and a loss of license.


An accountant who steals money goes straight to jail.


A teacher who teaches nonsense gets disgraced and turned into an overnight internet sensation for all the wrong reasons.


Dog bites man is no news but man bites dog, is

That I believe, is the same standard by which we should measure men who cheat. We should not normalize it and make not cheating – unusual.


Being faithful to your spouse and/or significant other should be the standard.


It is not news.


Now, if there is anywhere a man has bitten a dog, please lead me there as quickly as you can.


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THAT will be the news!

Lilian Osigwe

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer.

Lilian Osigwe

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