Cheating: Why are men furious when women do it? – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

Cheating: Why are men furious when women do it? – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha


A cheating evangelist’s Facebook page was hacked over the weekend. The hacker decided to publish the content of this man’s inbox.


My people na so so adultery full am!


This hacker (who I suspect is a husband scorned) meticulously did screenshots of not only the sexy chats; but went ahead to screenshot the bio pages of all the MARRIED women who were having some sexy chats with this evangelist.


At first, it was hilarious.


Because let us admit it, being caught pants down cheating is always hilarious; especially if one is not in any way related to the perpetrators.


So jokes began to fly around at the randy evangelist.


Incidentally, he had done a live worship session not up to 24 hours before his recent indiscretions were publicized.


Nothing new there.




Cheating: Why are men furious when women do it? – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha


ALSO READ: Dear men, this is how to commit adultery – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha




How many Men of God have been caught with their pants down?


Jimmy Swaggart was caught with prostitutes twice. In 1988 (his congregation stood by him) and in 1991 (this with IRS issues crashed his media empire).


Ted Haggard was fired from his church for sexually immoral conduct after being accused by a gay escort; who supposedly fraternized with him in a drug-fuelled sexual escapade in 2006.


Televangelist and Founder of Daystar Television Network, Rev. Marcus Lamb confessed to cheating on his wife in 2010.


Last year, Pastor Wilson became famous not for Holy Ghost filled sermons but for commendable cunnilingus skills.


No be today!


Whether they are high government officials (Bill Clinton as leading example), or they are religious leaders; or even influential men of high standing in the community, men are known to be human beings.


Human beings who give in to basic sexual needs, irrespective of what they profess to stand for.


But I paused all the laughing and took a closer look at things.


Somewhere along the line for whatever reason, society has taught us to believe that men like sex more than women. Sexual urges for men are portrayed as out of control fires that must be quenched.


People are more understanding when men cheat.



ALSO READ: Men are allowed to say no-Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha






After all, “Body no be wood.”


“Man na man.”


“Kongi no dey respect.”


There is rarely any respect for chaste men.


Chastity in a man is considered as a weakness; an indication of impotency or a sure sign of homosexuality.


Girls grow up being taught that their worth is tied to how they use their vaginas.


They are told that they would be rewarded with good husbands if they kept themselves.


They are warned against ‘giving’ themselves to men because that somehow diminishes them; (while incidentally, men taking them was a sign of virility and led to admiration.)


So women often skulk around in shame of natural sexual urges. They hide their sexual activities so as not to be seen as sluts. They do not have the excuse that men have, being that men naturally can’t help themselves.


Do you remember the situation with the girl from Babcock (no pun intended) University; who was in a sex tape performing sexual acts with a young man?


Everyone talked about the girl. The girl received so much backlash and the young man barely received any attention.


This is why women learn early to hide their sexual activities.


Being labelled as a slut has far reaching implications.


Men get forgiven.


Even in marriages.



ALSO READ: Why do Naija men like yansh like this? – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha


As I have been married for over a decade, I can tell from the experiences of many people that a lot of women take cheating or male infidelity for granted. It is not a deal breaker. Apparently it is a commonly known fact that men cheat.


Like they did not dishonour the woman by climbing into strange women.


I am not saying it should be a tit for tat life. Also, I am not saying that women should cheat just like men.


I am just saying that cheating has no gender.


Both men and women are equally capable of finding ‘fun’ outside.


It also isn’t worse when a woman does it. It is equally as bad as when a man does it. Women do not have automatic special buttons to press that prohibits cheating.


When they do not cheat; they are exercising the same self-control that men need to exercise not to cheat.






If they fall, they fall just like men fall.


Men, do not get surprised when women cheat. There is nothing extra to it than what it is when men cheat. It is not a bigger deal.


Forgiving is a genuine option. Women have known this forever.


It is time men know this.

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  1. Uyoyoumona Okozi

    I love the way you bleached it all out dearie infact this line is a deal breaker “Both men and women are equally capable of finding ‘fun’ outside” .

    High time we call it what it is joor

  2. Lydia Umar

    Men should remember that women are curious about variety too… you know that standard joke about eating Ogbono everyday….. women get bored too. It takes a lot of selfcontrol not to reach out and try some egusi.

    your words are true! well done.


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