Dear Men, You must make that money – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

Dear Men, You must make that money – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha



Dear Men, this one is for you…




So my confession today is that I am a Facebook person. I enjoy being on Facebook. It is the only platform that accommodates my winded long posts.




I also like that it is different from Twitter. The things that trend on Facebook may be completely different from the things that trend on Twitter. The drama on Facebook and the no limit word count allows people to express themselves fully.




Of recent, one discussion that is making appearances, sometimes headlining and other times in subsets;  is the issue of women giving men money. After reading countless of opinions for and against, I have finally come to an official position.




Dear men,



ALSO READ: What do WOMEN really want? – Abiodun Kuforiji- Nkwocha



If you are reading this article, turn to the person sitting next to you and say; “I must make money!”




Dear Men, You must make that money - Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha



If you are alone, find a mirror and look into it and say;



“I must make money”.



This is my conclusion.



I must admit that I got taken in at some point. Part of the modern female manifesto is that she will not remain a burden to men. The person with the gold makes the rules. When a woman is completely dependent on a man, it makes her choices limited to his benevolence.



So, women are intent on making money. Go to Instagram and other social media platforms where people advertise their business. I am very certain that there are more Nigerian women than men selling all kinds of products and services.




A couple of years back, discussions became intense. Women did not see why they would burden men with providing everything in a relationship or marriage. Women were speaking about how men were under pressure to provide.




The modern female was obviously more than ready to shoulder financial responsibilities and not let men do everything.




I was pleasantly surprised.




I didn’t think Nigerian women were ready for that.




Don’t get me wrong o. Women have always done more than their fair share whether this was a topic of discussion or not. Unofficially, the Nigerian woman has always put all her resources to uphold her family.




But it seemed like men were being relieved of archaic expectations officially.




The men also bought into this new thinking.




In the past, men seemed to want women that would not earn incomes. It was so that they could ‘control’ the woman and demand subservience. The men balked at the idea of marrying women who earned a lot of money. Their families even would object. They were afraid that such women would end up controlling the men.




This was why most of our fathers were not keen on advising us to buy cars; especially when we were single with good jobs. The idea was so that men were not intimidated away.




Ah… good old days.




But things have shifted so swiftly I am confused.




Men started buying into this partnership thing. Men were going out of their way to marry women with sizeable incomes. Behind every female banker then were a dozen men wanting to marry them (for funds related reasons).




One day, my hairdresser and I were talking. Then she told me that she was hustling to open her own shop. That men these days don’t want to marry a woman that cannot make money.



ALSO READ: Men: 14 myths why they cheat, 1 reason why they do – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha



So now that men are open to marrying women with money and women were also open to contributing financially to make relationship works, everything is fine with the world right?





Lai lai.



Not true.



Dear men, do not dream down your ambition. Do not fall asleep on making money.



Women do not respect broke men.



Women do not want to date broke men.



In fact, women do not want to marry broke men.



Women do not want to remain in marriages with broke men.



Women do not want to pay for dates.



As a matter of fact, women do not want men that depend on them financially.



Even when women say they can do a partnership, they are mostly uncomfortable with this. Every kobo a woman gives you has something attached to it.



I told someone the other day that women do not gift money.



When they give money, it is a debt that a man should do all he can to repay.



The only way a man can be comfortable in a relationship with a woman;  is to make sure that he is bringing along with a good game in bed a full wallet.







ALSO READ: Don’t even argue, women are powerful – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha




If a woman can buy a car for herself but her husband does it for her, she is happier.



When a man takes you out and spends money on you despite the fact that you can afford to pay for yourself; the love is sweeter.



This is not because women don’t like spending their own money… and true true we don’t.



There is something about a man’s provision expressed through the money spent  that contributes to how a woman feels valued. It is not as mercenary as women liking hard cold cash.



While we all love cash, feeling loved and taken care of has a lot to do with how the man is willing to spend what he earns on us.



So dear young man;



You may be thinking that the fellow young woman is relieving you of older expectations…ABORT THAT THOUGHT NOW.




Your worth as a man unfortunately will always be tied to not just the length of your penis; but to the depth of your pocket.




I am not pressuring you to go yahooing.




Dear Men, You must make that money - Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha




And I do realize that this is pressure.




All I am saying is not to relent in the hustle.




Do not think that the right princess is out there waiting to make you a prince. It is not true. She will put up with you for a few years before throwing you out.




Do not be lazy.




Dear men, tell yourself one more time…





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  1. Osita Egeonu

    So, based on the opinion of your hairdresser and a larger participants of Nigerian women marketing various products on social you have decided to write about how lazy Nigerian men are? What a faulty reasoning. Btw those women marketing on social medias how much are they contributing to the Nigerian economy.

    Do your audience a favor. Take a pen and paper: write down all the markets, malls and streets in Nigeria where small and large businesses operate (perhaps you may include street vendors) and tell us how many of those are run by women. Give us figures and ratios.

    Also tell us where in Nigeria, bot in public and private sector institutions where women are the most employed and working.

    Some of our men, free and indentured, spend thousands, if not millions in Naira paying a woman’s tuition etc only for the woman to dump the man upon attaining success or whatever she feels is worth the dump.

    Now you want to write about lazy Nigerian men because 0.00000001%tage of women say they are supporting their men.

    For thousands of generation our men have been the bread winner of all relationships: official and unofficial.
    And will continue to do so. If 1 or 3 women out of millions of relationships decide to help and shoulder their man’s burden, then it becomes a topic of discussion to ridicule men.

    Look a woman can help her man if she wants to. But women should not make noise about it.
    This is exactly why our parents don’t advise us to take a woman who is financially stable because she will quickly begin to think that the man is lazy and unable to do anything, and will want to ridicule him.

  2. Mm

    Are you sure you’re commenting on this same article?

    Coz your comment does not in anyway correlate with the article.

    I’m still looking for the part where the writer said men are lazy.

  3. Mimi

    Bros cool down, the person that riled you is not here. Unless you are reacting to another article, I would suggest you read this one again when you are less upset then come back and write another comment.


    Wow! I’ve never seen a blunter truth being told as the one expressed in the article above. I believe the article is meant for lovers of truth who don’t like deceiving themselves. It is very important that people and especially men understand the truth about certain important issues of life like the one explicitly explained above. It is always better to have a clear information about issues for the purpose of making informed decisions than to live under the illusion of some assumptions drawn from emerging trends in society. There’s always a right or wrong way of doing things. This is particularly important to note because people easily get carried away. E.g the new trend of Feminism where women are deemed equal with men. This is not necessarily right because that was not the original plan of the creator of the universe, which is why there may never be an end to the problems associated with it. Of course there’s always an exception to the rule, but, decisions should be made based on the rules, and not the exceptions. I believe that this is the messages being conveyed by the writer of the article. I must confess however that this article is a kind of eye opener for me, and I believe, many other men, to not get carried away by the new trend of women becoming bread winners. However, I also believe that both men and women must bring a lot more than just money to the table if they are to truly enjoy a fulfilling and enjoyable relationship because there’s a world of difference between standard of living and quality of live. Money gives you a high standard of living. But wisdom and understanding gives you a good quality of life. All the money in the world will not compensate for your lack of wisdom. To live without wisdom is a complete recipe for disaster no matter how much money you have.

  5. Nina

    I don’t think I would care about my husband’s financial status if I had all the money I needed. My prayer has always been to become rich so finances are not a consideration in choosing a spouse.


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