Dear Men, this one is for you…
So my confession today is that I am a Facebook person. I enjoy being on Facebook. It is the only platform that accommodates my winded long posts.
I also like that it is different from Twitter. The things that trend on Facebook may be completely different from the things that trend on Twitter. The drama on Facebook and the no limit word count allows people to express themselves fully.
Of recent, one discussion that is making appearances, sometimes headlining and other times in subsets; is the issue of women giving men money. After reading countless of opinions for and against, I have finally come to an official position.
If you are reading this article, turn to the person sitting next to you and say; “I must make money!”
If you are alone, find a mirror and look into it and say;
“I must make money”.
This is my conclusion.
I must admit that I got taken in at some point. Part of the modern female manifesto is that she will not remain a burden to men. The person with the gold makes the rules. When a woman is completely dependent on a man, it makes her choices limited to his benevolence.
So, women are intent on making money. Go to Instagram and other social media platforms where people advertise their business. I am very certain that there are more Nigerian women than men selling all kinds of products and services.
A couple of years back, discussions became intense. Women did not see why they would burden men with providing everything in a relationship or marriage. Women were speaking about how men were under pressure to provide.
The modern female was obviously more than ready to shoulder financial responsibilities and not let men do everything.
I was pleasantly surprised.
I didn’t think Nigerian women were ready for that.
Don’t get me wrong o. Women have always done more than their fair share whether this was a topic of discussion or not. Unofficially, the Nigerian woman has always put all her resources to uphold her family.
But it seemed like men were being relieved of archaic expectations officially.
The men also bought into this new thinking.
In the past, men seemed to want women that would not earn incomes. It was so that they could ‘control’ the woman and demand subservience. The men balked at the idea of marrying women who earned a lot of money. Their families even would object. They were afraid that such women would end up controlling the men.
This was why most of our fathers were not keen on advising us to buy cars; especially when we were single with good jobs. The idea was so that men were not intimidated away.
Ah… good old days.
But things have shifted so swiftly I am confused.
Men started buying into this partnership thing. Men were going out of their way to marry women with sizeable incomes. Behind every female banker then were a dozen men wanting to marry them (for funds related reasons).
One day, my hairdresser and I were talking. Then she told me that she was hustling to open her own shop. That men these days don’t want to marry a woman that cannot make money.
So now that men are open to marrying women with money and women were also open to contributing financially to make relationship works, everything is fine with the world right?
Dear men, do not dream down your ambition. Do not fall asleep on making money.
Women do not respect broke men.
Women do not want to date broke men.
In fact, women do not want to marry broke men.
Women do not want to remain in marriages with broke men.
Women do not want to pay for dates.
As a matter of fact, women do not want men that depend on them financially.
Even when women say they can do a partnership, they are mostly uncomfortable with this. Every kobo a woman gives you has something attached to it.
I told someone the other day that women do not gift money.
When they give money, it is a debt that a man should do all he can to repay.
The only way a man can be comfortable in a relationship with a woman; is to make sure that he is bringing along with a good game in bed a full wallet.
DEAR MEN, DO NOT LISTEN TO WHAT MODERN WOMEN ARE SAYING.
If a woman can buy a car for herself but her husband does it for her, she is happier.
When a man takes you out and spends money on you despite the fact that you can afford to pay for yourself; the love is sweeter.
This is not because women don’t like spending their own money… and true true we don’t.
There is something about a man’s provision expressed through the money spent that contributes to how a woman feels valued. It is not as mercenary as women liking hard cold cash.
While we all love cash, feeling loved and taken care of has a lot to do with how the man is willing to spend what he earns on us.
So dear young man;
You may be thinking that the fellow young woman is relieving you of older expectations…ABORT THAT THOUGHT NOW.
Your worth as a man unfortunately will always be tied to not just the length of your penis; but to the depth of your pocket.
I am not pressuring you to go yahooing.
And I do realize that this is pressure.
All I am saying is not to relent in the hustle.
Do not think that the right princess is out there waiting to make you a prince. It is not true. She will put up with you for a few years before throwing you out.
Do not be lazy.
Dear men, tell yourself one more time…
I MUST MAKE MONEY!