Desperate HWA: Scandalous! – Joy Ehonwa

Desperate HWA: Scandalous! – Joy Ehonwa

Scandal presented itself in the person of Faith Radcliffe this week. A journalist posed as a client,  took her picture, and then offered her a lot of money to publish her client list. Before we could say gbege the gist was on every blog, and on every gossipy lip.  You should have seen Ese’s face when she saw the story!

Desperate Housewives AfricaAlways concerned about reputation, Ese goes to Faith’s house and begs her to remove Kayode’s name from the book, offering her money she’s put aside from some property her family just sold. Faith turns her down, sells to the highest bidder, and the whole city gets to know that Kay is one of the men who have been paying for raunchy sex. 

This is definitely bad news for Kay, who has been feeling weak lately; his medication isnt working and his doctor doesnt know why. Well, I’m willing to bet that creepy pharmacist Lanre switched his medication. I wouldnt put anything past that guy, and Kay really provoked him the day he went to pick the meds. This is dangerous stuff, Lanre, a matter of life and death. Stop playing!

A ringworm epidemic broke out at the Lawal kids school, and the twins were suspected of starting it. Tumi Falope called to say she had cancelled her son’s birthday party, but Funke figured out that she was lying just to make sure the twins didnt show up with their ringworm. You can imagine her indignation when she learnt that her boys didnt start it. The teacher told her that Tumi Falope’s son, Oreoluwa, started it. Tumi who uninvited the boys because of the ringworm, was the mother of the boy who started the ringworm! Human beings sha! Everyone needs a Funke in their lives. You gotta love the way she handles stuff. She crashed the party and made the woman tell every mother the truth, clearing her twins’ names and collecting an extra party pack. Hehe!

Things are still very bad for the Obis, and their woes include gross things like sewage problems. Eeeeew, brown water! They call Larry over to help fix it, but even with his offer to not charge for labour, (they’ll just buy parts), they still cant afford the 900k/1m it will cost to repipe the whole system. Kiki had to resort to rub and shine instead of proper baths, and going to neighbours houses to use the toilet. She eventually steals a mobile toilet she finds while jogging. Ese finally figures out the Obis have money problems when Kiki comes to use her bathroom for the umpteenth time (Chuka was taking forever in the mobile toilet), and asks her about it. Trust Kiki, ever fronting. After asking why Ese didnt tell her about Kay and Faith, she retorts, “Good friends support each other after they’ve been humiliated, but great friends pretend like nothing happened.” She leaves, but Ese goes over to the Obi house and gives her a cheque. Great friends dont take no for an answer, Ese says. Awwww.

Larry and Tari are still not back together (they will make up, I dont see how those two can do without each other), and since the arrest nobody wants anything to do with him. Even Tari is not picking up his calls. At least she knows in her heart he didnt kill Mrs. Benson, and tells Rhetta as much. They both suspect Deji, especially since Rhetta saw him that morning as they chatted with Mrs. Benson’s sister, Agnes, working overtime to make Larry look guilty. Luckily for Larry though, his fingerprints aren’t on any of the jewelry Deji planted (of course), he has a solid alibi (he was with Tari all night long) and Agnes doesnt think he did it. Plus, Deji’s lying to her about never having been to Jos when Agnes knows for certain that he and his wife lived and worked there, is telling.

Deji has even decided he’s no longer selling the house and moving. I wonder why. He has seen Agnes Benson in a picture with his late wife, and he now knows they were co-workers in Jos – the album cover reads Lillian’s Award Party. Rhetta and Tari sneak into his house while he’s away in Ibadan and find the album with Rume’s other name, Lillian, on it. Deji returns unexpectedly and they almost get caught, but Rhetta saves the day. While Tari hides behind a couch, Rhetta pretends she snuck in to seduce Deji, and they start kissing. Tari sneaks out, and just as Deji starts getting into the smooch, Rhetta pulls away, much to his disappointment. She tries to leave, but he pulls her back. Did they do it? We’ll have to wait till next week to find out! Outside, Tari runs into Larry and when she refuses to hear him out, he leaves her with a kiss. You see these people?

There are many things we dont know: how Inya came to work for the Obi’s again after the fracas that got her fired, or how Rhetta got away with saying ‘friendly-eco’ for eco-friendly, but there is one thing we know for sure: when Hibiscus Lane finds out what Mrs. Benson was blackmailing Rume for  and what else the Bellos have to hide  that will be the most deliciously sordid scandal of all!


About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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