I will never underestimate the power of a beautiful woman.
One of the entrenched lessons women learn is that their looks will always the most important thing about them. Which is why when women begin to age, they become invincible. Tom Cruise is still a leading man with love interests half his age and less. Sigourney Weaver will most likely play someone’s mother and not the hot woman a young man wants.
It is important for a woman to be beautiful. It will determine how your life will go in many aspects. The doors that will open to you, the caliber of men that will approach you and how you will always feel about yourself will be determined by your looks.
When women bleach, get boobs and breast implants, they know exactly what they are doing.
People admire beauty more than success in a woman.
Women are groomed early to know that how loveable we are will depend on how we look. That is why there is so much emphasis on keeping ourselves attractive forever for our men. I hear of women who would rather have C-sections than push a baby out of the vaginas they do not want to distort. So that men will have a tight orifice waiting for them.
Women are forever trying to lose weight.
I don’t even think men understand the torture that comes with keeping our looks. The endless hours braiding in salons. The carrying of several layers of makeup or almost passing out with girdles, corsets or tight clothing.
Whenever a relationship isn’t going well, women are scolded to do all they can to be attractive. Men will move on if you are not attractive to them.
So, it is always a shock to us when beautiful women are cheated on. When Yul Edochie unveiled his second wife, we just couldn’t get it.
You have a wife who is still under 40. She has had 3 boys and 1 daughter for you (I think). Also, she has kept herself attractive. She is slender, fine skin and dresses well.
What do men want?
Men have dated and left women like Halle Berry. Rihanna was slapped around by Chris Brown, despite being beautiful and successful.
It is confusing to us women when we see that being beautiful is not enough. The importance of how we look has been shoved down our throats so much that we tend to think that all we must do to be loved is to be beautiful.
But not be so, my sisters.
There is also the whole conversation of what is beautiful. The construct called beauty, I suspect, has changed from time to time and is determined by a few people.
Who told us narrow noses were prettier than flat and wide noses? Who told us light was better than dark? And who told us that slim was more beautiful that fat? Who told us stretch marks and cellulite are ugly?
Whoever told us sha, we listened. And in our heads we have the template of what beauty. That is how we judge people.
Blossom Chukwujekwu got married for the second time and the pictures made their way to the blogs. As soon as I saw the picture, I knew exactly what the comments would be. How did I know? I am human. We all see what we see, despite the fact that we can’t say all we see.
My first thought when I saw the picture was that the woman looked old enough to be his mother. Then I saw another picture of him lying down on her thighs and that looked much better. The original picture seems to have aged her.
The comments mostly tried to understand how he could divorce his first wife who is very pretty by the world standards to marry a woman who isn’t traditionally pretty.
Biko, don’t be angry with me. I am sort of saying what most people were thinking.
But it is telling, isn’t it.
Beauty is as beauty does.
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When you cross a certain age or have been through certain experiences, no one needs to tell that what you need the most in your life is not someone that looks the part but someone who you are compatible with.
In the history of marriage, being beautiful or handsome has never solved fundamental problems. Looks are not as important as we have been made to believe.
As eye candy, yes fine. Everyone will talk about how good your spouse looks. But when he or she is spitting venom at you when no one is there, you will not see beauty. You will see ugliness.
Men succumb to peer pressure when they are marrying sometimes. Or even to their egos. They want to show off the sort of woman they bagged. But the world admiring beauty will not make a terrible marriage better.
Fat women suffer this. You can make a connection with an amazing guy but your size alone is something he cannot accept. He doesn’t want to be teased. He can’t fight the shame of not having a woman who is traditionally beautiful.
But strong men know. They go for women that they can live with, irrespective of if she slays or not. I don’t know the situation with Blossom. Make I no talk wetin I no know. But our reactions showed how shallow we mostly are.
“You left a hot woman to marry this?”
Said a woman of the situation. I was like wow. Women are horrible to each other. We have bought the lies and look at each other measuring who we think is more beautiful and, therefore, deserving a better life.
It is horrible to devalue a person because we feel they don’t look a certain way. We all deserve love, despite how we look.
I wish Blossom happiness. For the most part, he has handled himself well after his divorce from his first wife. He doesn’t say much. I hope this union will be a fulfilling one for him. And for his new wife, I pray she has thick skin and is secure in who she is.
She is a good-looking woman when we open our minds to the fact the beauty isn’t one thing. I wish them a happy life.