Don’t be Korra Obidi – Abiodun Kuforiji- Nkwocha

Don’t be Korra Obidi – Abiodun Kuforiji- Nkwocha

 

Don’t be Korra Obidi.

How many times do we have to learn and relearn the lessons? Why aren’t they sticking? How do we keep falling for the same sort of thing over and over again?

Korra had a perfect marriage and a perfect husband and two perfect biracial babies. What made it all so special was how she was a sensual/erotic dancer. In a country like ours, we are told that a woman who isn’t ‘decent’ cannot get a husband to marry her. Men don’t like their women parading their goods around as though their bride prices were not paid.

But Korra was her wild self.

She wore the skimpy outfits and rolled her pelvic region in all directions. So when she married this oyinbo, for some people it was beautiful. You can find someone to love you exactly the way that you are. For some, it was ‘in your face Nigerian men’. The woman you disapproved of found her perfect love story.

ALSO READ: Korra Obidi finally speaks following divorce announcement (video)

So Korra set out to prove to everyone that she was happy. Her husband was right there as an available prop every time the need arose. He announced the birth of their second daughter and stated that Korra and the baby were all doing well.

And we were like ‘awww…. Two babies later, these guys are solid.’

But they were not.

In a shocking twist, her husband declared he was going to divorce her for cheating and narcissism. He toned down and said the cheating only happened earlier on in their marriage; and he had forgiven her for that. But since then he has doubled down on his determination to free himself from her.

Why did I call it a shocking twist sef?

It is pretty normal to wake up one day and find out that you knew nothing about the marriage of people that are practically strangers to you.

We only see a few minutes of carefully curated stuff that they allow us to see. And because Korra had sold this lie of a family of love, it must have hit her hard when her husband refused to play along anymore. He knew exactly why he came to the public to show the cracks in their marriage. He for once took a step to control the narrative of the relationship by blowing the tin open.

When you are in a relationship with someone who is an influencer or content creator, you quickly understand the importance of playing to the façade of happiness. You don’t want to ruin things for them. It is their livelihood and selling a happy front is part of it. Sometimes, you don’t even want to really face up to the very real problems that exist when you are in a relationship.

ALSO READ: I didn’t marry my idealistic man: This is why I am open-minded – Abiodun Nkwocha

I think that Korra’s husband went public because this was probably the only way he could get her attention. What he meant to her privately might not have been a source of concern to her. So long as the public believed what she was dishing out, she was okay.

Well. He refused to play and came out with his truth. And since then, we have all been pretending to be shocked at their marriage crashing.

The lessons are always the same. Social media allows people to cherry pick their lives and present to you. NEVER BUY WHAT ANYONE IS SELLLING.

At some point in my life, I found myself talking more and more about my marriage and kids. This was till I started realizing that I was doing ‘couple goals’ stuff; where people who do not know who we were start painting perfect pictures of us. And because amplifying our struggles on social media never leads to resolutions, they don’t get to see that everyone is mostly normal.

We laugh. We cry. We eat. We shit. We are happy sometimes. We are sad sometimes. We fuck. We cheat. We repent. We fight dirty. We make up. We make children. No relationship is in a permanent state of happiness. No human being is in a permanent state of happiness. It doesn’t matter if they look cute together. It doesn’t matter if they have been married for decades. It doesn’t matter if they have smart cute kids and tell the funniest of stories. We are mostly just normal people with our own struggles.

Stop building castles in the airs with the bricks supplied on social media. What you are building is nonexistent.

It is rarely a good idea to centre your life in the public glare or to create content around your family life. No one’s life should be entertainment for another person. We don’t matter when it comes down to the nitty gritty.

Why the heck does Korra have to apologise to her ‘fans’ about her reaction to her marriage breaking down?

How is it our concern?

We will speculate and be entertained and then we will move on till the next tasty morsel is thrown to us.

What should matter to her are her two children and their father and how to find a way to either fix things or separate in such a way that things don’t disintegrate completely.

We don’t care.

People say she can’t log off because she makes a living from social media; but can’t she see that what is happening right now is barely just living? She can dance and twerk but she needs to keep those kids and any private issue off bounds for now.

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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