Drake and his recent shenanigan with a model deserves some attention today…
I remember when I was much younger. My mum told me never to openly dispose of a used sanitary towel. It was unhygienic to just drop it in the bin, she explained. So, she taught me to wrap it in an old newspaper before disposing of it.
Same thing I heard my partner tell a few of his young male friends; “…never leave a used condom behind. Dispose of it yourself.”
Now, I didn’t think there was much to the advice on safe disposal other than maintaining some semblance of hygiene. But my eyes were opened when stories of yahoo-yahoo boys buying used panties and pads and used condoms surfaced; with all manner of tales told as to what bad people can do with these used intimate items.
Recently, news about someone’s used condom came up again. My friend sent me a post of Drake’s used condom “peppering dem” on social media.
Let me try and bring folks who know nothing about the Drake affair up to speed.
Drake is a Canadian rapper, actor and songwriter, with government name Aubrey Drake Graham. His net worth as at December, 2021 is estimated at $180m.
Go figure!
So, an Instagram model is threatening to sue Drake. The story is she had sex with Drake and after the do; Drake went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom.
After he came out, Auntie Slay Queen went into the bathroom; picked up the used condom from the trash can and inserted the semen into her vagina. But it didn’t go down easily. What she poured inside her vahjayjay turned out to be liquid fire and burned like hell. As she was screaming; Drake confessed to having poured hot sauce in the condom to kill his sperm.
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When I read that story, I laughed and told myself; “That’s the black in Drake rearing its head”…literarily.
We come from a heritage of “being careful with things”.
Apart from the fact that he didn’t want to have issues with some woman coming to slam him with a paternity suit. (you see, Drake has a 4-year-old son, Adonis, whom he found out he’d fathered after just one romantic night with the boy’s mum…but once is enough to father a child!). Once bitten, dude has to insure himself…as a black man concern.
Anyway, there are speculations the model is threatening to sue. But that bit made me laugh as I thought to myself, “Nigerians will learn from this.”
But come to think of it, it’s only “in the abroad” that such a crazy thing can happen.
If you think it’s crazy, however, there’s a precedent of sorts and where else but in the land of lawsuits; aka America, Instagram model just might win!
A few years back, a 40-year-old Las Vegas hotel cleaner won a four-year long child support suit against a 28-year-old millionaire she never even slept with! According to her, she was cleaning the millionaire’s room and saw documents that made her realize he was worth millions. So, when she saw a used condom in his garbage can; she picked it up and poured the semen inside her vagina.
She got pregnant then notified the millionaire after she gave birth to his son. Millionaire scoffed at her. She sued and she won the case. He was ordered to pay $2million dollars for the three years of his son’s life that he missed…and he is to pay child support going forward.
That’s madness, right?
But it happened!
That kind of madness won’t happen in Nigeria because who’s going to defend that kind of madness!
Instead, what can happen is the woman will raise the child herself and would never even tell the world what she did to get the child.
On the flipside, she can ALSO use the condom for juju.
Yeah!
You can say, ‘I’m educated, I don’t believe in that kind of crap!’
Good for you but the real reason behind, “dispose of your intimate items carefully” isn’t necessarily because of hygiene. It’s because of the way we are in Nigeria and yeah, Africa as a whole.
We take nothing for granted.
It’s the fear of something more sinister, like people using it for juju; like the guy losing his member and not being able to perform anymore; like the woman getting barren for life; or the man losing his source of livelihood, like…I can go on and on but it certainly won’t be because of child support.
When stuff happens, we say, “no be ordinary eye.”
We say, “village people at work”
We say, “dem dey do am”
But I’m not here to frighten anyone about juju, just to throw in my take on this funny thing going on.
If you must dispose of your used condom/pads, do like Drake. Spray your juices with anything you can get to disguise it; alligator pepper, cayenne pepper, curry, thyme and ginger o; maggie o, salt, o; ata rodo, ketchup, marmalade, anything will do.
Just make it hard for the juju makers and bad people!
That’s all I’m saying.
