Fame is overrated — Abiodun Nkwocha

Fame is overrated — Abiodun Nkwocha

What is it about fame that makes people eagerly seek it?

Yesterday as I was leaving church, I pulled out my phone and compulsively reached for the Instagram App.

There is this thing about always checking the socials after you have had to step away for a couple of hours. Sometimes you feel as though the whole world imploded and you did not know about it. These days, my heart skips a beat because it is as though there is always tragic news lurking around the corner.

Luckily, this was not tragic news.

A popular (rogue) blog announced that Davido and Chioma had secretly gotten married about a week ago.  First and foremost, I know they may never get to read this. But I just have to express my heartfelt condolences on the loss of their son. As a parent, it hit me hard. They may feel like there are a lot of people around them that they cannot trust. However, if they seek balance, they will find out that so many people are rooting for them and their happiness than they think.

And the passing of their son shook most people to their core.

A friend of mine called me in the middle of the night, weeping heavily. She is not friends with them and has no interaction with them. Just the thought of the tragedy made her very sad.

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Fame Transparent Background | PNG Mart

So, a secret wedding huh?  I liked the news. I thought a private reaffirming of the love they share outside the love that they have for their son was a step in the right direction. There are probably women who have secretly felt that the ‘hold’ Chioma had on Davido was gone without their son. She might even feel like that special link being broken was going to change things for them. But shame on anyone who thought the relationship was ending (if the news is true).

I kind of get it. Even if they had waited till next year as they were planning, it would have been too soon for a grand affair. I think that this is perfect and even the timing is good. I just thought to myself that they can now take the time to heal as much as they can or acclimatize to the reality of their loss.

That was me thinking o.

The moment I got into the comment section, I was stunned.

A lot of people were talking about how it was inappropriate to get married so soon after their son’s death. Some said it was shameless. Others implied that they probably were not truly mourning. Some person said something lofty like marriage was a good thing but wait o…. Is Davido trying to compensate for Chioma’s loss by consoling her with marriage? This person said that marriage should not be dished out like some gift. She said marriage was about love. The comments were a cesspool of shit.

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Celebrity, famous, fans, man, person, popular, superstar icon - Download on  Iconfinder

I recall having a conversation with a friend who said that she wouldn’t be surprised if Davido had done something with his child. She said that in the kingdom of darkness, sacrificing one’s most precious belonging/human being was the standard. That conversation turned into a big argument. I wasn’t going to stand for it. I won’t let anyone speculate in that direction. There is nothing crueler than to level such unfounded accusations on the person who bears grief the heaviest already.

Let us not pretend. No one is feeling this more than Davido and Chioma. Marriage or no marriage.

After all these things, I came to the conclusion that has been dancing in my mind for the longest time.


There is no money that would make it okay for me to watch people speculate the sickest of things about my life without knowing me. It would be very painful to be aware of public debates on my every action; while people feel free to not only assume the worst but to voice it out with all of their chest. At least if I wasn’t famous, such discussions would be shielded from me. But because of fame, every gaddem failure is amplified. Every loss is magnified. Every heartbreak shredded into even tinier pieces.

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Davido & Chioma add another name for their newborn son at his naming  ceremony in London (Photos)

I would hate to go anywhere where people are trying to take pictures of me at every turn. If I share a meal with someone, then there is speculation of an affair or relationship. People can even sit down and invent stories about me just because my fame will bring traffic to even a lie. Imagine not knowing why people hang around me. Not knowing who likes me and who is there for clout. Imagine just going into a mall and soon tons of people are following me. That sounds like a trapped life.

Why would anyone want that life?

On some level, I guess I understand the need to seek fame. To be recognized and given special treatment everywhere you go has to be a good feeling. In this day and age, to be recognized is a tool that can bring money to the table. People also try to imagine the glamorous life of exclusivity. But one thing I can say with my whole chest is that the sort of life we imagine people live is very different from the truth. Money is nice but it really doesn’t make you any happier.

Fame without money would be a curse.

I will take having money over fame a million times over.

Have a lovely week, people.

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