Can i have your attention here, please?
Okay, now that we are together, let me make this clear.
You see this ‘Jubril from Sudan’ matter, if you are among those with even a smidgen of education – both formal and informal, that are now beginning to express some doubts as to if the person in Aso Rock is really President Muhammadu Buhari or a really expensive body double from Sudan, then permit me to inform you that you are part of the problem Nigeria has at the moment.
I must confess that I have easily profiled EVERYBODY who mouthed that assertion some time back and wondered if they couldn’t just focus on pertinent issues. But with what I can see now, the more than propaganda is left to continue to take hold, the more it runs wild. When this version of Jubril as postulated by Nnamdi Kanu resurfaced after a year and some weeks of total blackout, I was one of the first to declare that he is back on an obstruction mission. He is back to play distraction politics, the aim of which is not to openly campaign for Buhari, but to use the tool of ‘no elections’ to ensure mass boycott of the polls, inadvertently handing over a second term to Buhari.
We waited long and hard about that and the initial ‘no election’ stance was quickly abandoned for this present one that seems aimed at convincing us that President Buhari died in a London hospital and was replaced by a very expensive body double from Sudan. Everyone on social media is slowly getting used to all the ‘evidence’ and pictures surfacing from the stables of Radio Biafra, all of which have pictures of Buhari with circles around any and every part of his anatomy that catches the fancy of the originator of the memes.
Heights are compared.
Shape of nose is compared.
Ears are compared.
Stance is compared, you name it.
The questions on my mind have been: Are we insinuating that perhaps the mismanagement of the economy, bad governance experienced on a wide scale are the handiworks of a certain Jubril? What of turning a blind eye to the incessant killings by ‘Fulani Herdsmen”, opting, instead, to arrest locals that try to defend themselves or prevent an invasion in the first instance, also attributed to Jubril from Sudan? Do we also say that the myriads of other ills that the country is reeling under are taking place because it is not Buhari at the helm of affairs but a body double from Sudan?
How else can we begin to describe this to the increasing horde of hitherto rational humans that are now circulating hilarious memes with red arrows and circles covering the surface, all aiming to validate the existence of this body double? How do we ask you to stop and think? How do we tell you that these Jubril talk, barely three months to what history will note to be the most keenly contested elections in the history of Nigerian politics, is nothing but mere politics of distraction?
Should it even matter to us whether Buhari’s right ear in the ‘before’ meme matches the right ear in the ‘after’ meme? What should matter is whether the ear is deaf to the cries of the average Nigerian. So now, rather than chase after the main issues in the run up to the elections, we are chasing after Buhari’s ear shape, size and any notable defects!
Once again, I ask people to pause and think: where has Nnamdi Kanu been all these while? The last we saw of him, he was reportedly dodging a hail of bullets from the heavily armed Nigerian Army who had invaded his father’s palace in Afaraukwu. At that point in time, the most arms that Kanu and his people had were batons, tracts, and ‘bad mouth’. This was the arsenal they had to defend themselves with against armored tanks, tear gas and a hail of bullets.
RIP Jack the Dog.
After that, nothing was heard from Brother Kanu and his parents until Atiku Abubakar won the PDP presidential primaries. Again, this win was dismissed with the hope that Atiku would pick as his running mate, a South Westerner or a deeply flawed South Easterner. It was believed that the South East abhorrence of Buhari would deter them from ever voting for a Hausa-Fulani man in 2019, so it would be an easy coast to victory for the incumbent. That calculation held true until the master-stroke of a Peter Obi VP card was played with the subsequent groundswell of support for that choice.
If you all recall, whether the All Progressives Congress’ primaries held or not, no one knows or can remember any of the details. The real and virtual supporters of the party spent all their time ‘punditing’ for the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and analyzing the PDP’s actions and choices.
Until the Peter Obi joker was played.
Enter Nnamdi Kanu to distract the now-focused Igbo Youth.
What is at stake, you ask?
Well, I don’t know. Perhaps if we know where Nnamdi Kanu’s parents are at the moment, we could eliminate them from the potential pawns being held up to force him to play this distraction politics.
What is the ‘Jubril from Sudan’ angle, if not a very wild conspiracy theory designed to deflect attention from the more serious issues in the run up to the elections? I believe that Nnamdi Kanu is being blackmailed or paid off to distract the South Easterners from participating in the elections. When he tried the ‘no election’ tactics, a lot of voices rose against that and he has backed down.
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Now, the focus is on ensuring that Nigerians – a disappointing number of Nigerians – leave the meat of the issues and focus on drawing circles around pictures taken in poor lighting.
Snap out of it, people.
Listen up: whether it is Jubril from Sudan, Hotep from Egypt, or Haile Selassie from Ethiopia, the most important point is that Nigerians are more interested in enjoying the dividends of democracy and good governance.
For now, focus.
Stop drawing circles and arrows and circulating funny ‘evidence’ pictures of a body double from Sudan.
Get your PVCs at the ready, and FOCUS…