Fellow Nigerians, I am surprised you all are surprised that President Buhari is surprised that we are surprised that he did not attend the burial of his own Chief of Army Staff who expired less than three months after appointment, in very questionable circumstances.
Even if one part of your conscience is asking you not to question the circumstances of the death of the COAS; I am sure the second part of your conscience – the one that wanted you to ask those hard questions; will be looking you one kain eye following the failure of the President to show up and honor what is supposed to be the all-in-all as far as the security in Nigeria is concerned.
Even our Minister for Condolences and Graveyard Activities – Ex Pastor Oshunbarde (?) was conspicuously unable to go and express his condolences; on behalf of the entire Nigerians, and then speak some big big English like that to explain to the family; that this is why we were where we were; but nothing is fishy.
At least, the Veeps wife was sighted, condoling the young widow of one of the fallen officers. So, that is small consolation that the rebellious women of Aso Rock, will either do what the occasion demands; irrespective of what their politicking spouses are up to; or else they can wash their hands off the whole entirety of the hot mess that is Nigeria; thereafter going ahead to seek solace in a luxury apartment in Dubai, make the dust settle first before…
…at this point I would not be surprised if like some of us erstwhile hard core skeptics; a certain Wife of The President who does not wish to be referred to as a First Lady; is currently reviewing all those pictures circled by Nnamdi Kanu that year. You know the one na – where he was proving to us beyond all reasonable doubt, that the ear of Buhari and the ear of Jubril; are not one and the same.
That while one was bent inwards, the other was bent outwards; but irrespective of the direction of the “bending”, the ultimate outcome was the same; deaf to the problems of the country he is allegedly presiding over.
I am almost at the point where I feel led to henceforth refer to whomever it is that is occupying the seat of the Presidency in Nigeria as Jubrilu Al Sudani.
There can be no other explanation for the fact that this is a President that is shying away from speaking to his own people. The only times we “hear” from him these days are either when someone dies in a foreign country; (sometimes, people we Nigerians have never heard of before but for our President’s condolence message); or when he is – through his media handlers – expressing “shock” at what is going on in Nigeria.
Bombs can go off and hundreds will die. Nothing from the President until an outcry is raised, at which point he would come out to express “shock”.
Known gunmen, unknown gunmen and ungun known men are running riot in a certain part of the country; causing havoc as they kill and maim innocent citizens for the simple “crime” of being members of any of the Nigerian security agencies. All the while, these “Lagbajas” are cheered on by the people who claim not to know them; claim to have set up their own super-efficient vigilante and security network; but are not perturbed that a group of alleged unknowns are going around murdering their sons and daughters; while the vigilante and security network they have formed does nothing.
Yet… President Buhari is not aware.
Good things are happening in Nigeria. The President is not aware.
Bad things are happening in Nigeria. The President is not aware.
Abominations are happening in Nigeria: President = blissfully unaware.
Once in a while though, the Boko Haramists disturb him with all the noise they are making. So, he wakes up to either remind them that they are supposed to be playing without making noise and disturbing his sleep; or let them know that he can be very very angry if provoked o.
Just that the kidnappings, slaughter, abductions, rape and general destabilization of Nigerians is not enough to provoke him.
Boko Haram, Fulani Herdsmen, Bandits, Terrorists and Unknown Gunmen would have to do more than create anarchy in the land to provoke Buhari into action. Maybe if they took away the footstool where he rests his legs; while picking at the debris of food caught in his teeth. Maybe then, he would be provoked enough to show them his red eye.
But, for now, they are just a bunch of boisterous children playing noisily in the yard and disturbing Papa Nnukwu’s senile slumber.
If indeed that is the Buhari in Aso Rock, then this was not what he bargained for.
This was supposed to be a retirement package. Just be eating your tuwo and be sleeping your sleep in peace. But Nigerians will not hear. They actually want him to be saying sturvs and attending occasions. Apparently, we do not have respect for elders in that country.
As it stands right now, even the VP could drop dead right beside Buhari. Yet, Baba would be unperturbed. It will be the work of those spare parts-dealing Biafran boys that are just being pesky nuisances all over the place.
For now, we await the death of a water seller on the streets of Cameroon to see our president galvanize into action and whip out the magic ink with which he is inking his sincere doxologies, and hoping the missive meets the bereaved in good health.
The rest of you can be blowing yourselves up and dying in plane crashes, if that is what you want.
But as for your President and his household, they are not aware.
A little shocked perhaps, but aware?