With all apologies to Zlatan, money really no dey Lagos.
It is all the way in the South-East. If you’re rolling your eyes already because you can guess what I’m about to say next, relax.
There are some things we cannot just ignore for posterity’s sake. And our ancestors, our children, will not be happy if we don’t talk about all the money that was on display in Oba, Anambra State last weekend. Nigeria’s big boys took a good chunk of their funds and went off to engage in an obscene display of vanity at Oba.
Show me a time something like that ever happened in Lagos. You show me and maybe I will believe in Lagos money again.
Unsurprisingly, Zlatan nailed it in his song. Money wey dey Lagos na stress money. The kind that you must hustle to get for days and nights. The kind that trickles in like the last drops of urine only to disappear the minute your bank deducts one of their many charges. Which is as soon as money touches your account or leaves it.
Let me also remind you at this point that N1k is not money again. So, where do we go from here? The conclusion is that Lagos money is wahala money. There’s nothing soft about it at all.
I think that’s why the Oba event was the talk of the town. Especially for Lagosians. It was unreal. The illusion of an abundance of wealth. The thrill of a seemingly unending flow of cash literally floating in the air; or sprouting like grass everywhere you stepped your feet. The laughter and bants among grown-up men and their wives, having the time of their lives.
Indeed, the Oba event was what we want our Owambes to be. But we got stuck with party Jollof, fried cow meat and expensive asoebi. I’m not complaining o! I’m just saying that a showstopper like this would never happen in Lagos. Even in nightclubs with their hype men and whiskey bottles with fireworks. It can never.
Somebody said the joy that event brought to the Oba area would be short-lived and the monies on display would have been better spent empowering youths. The people there are not complaining. It is us that are swimming rivers and dodging road craters that should scream and shout.
I am tired of the bland or sour taste Lagos leaves in my mouth. Can the rich men of Eko assemble and show us a good time? Let vanity rule for once, please. We want to gossip and forget our sorrows. Let us have an Alimosho event, a Badore event or even an Oworonshoki event.
Something nice, we deserve it abeg. Not only oppression big man. We want action big man too. T for Thank you very much.