Gbas gbos era: Plenty domestic violence cases but nobody’s talking about mental abuse – Ella Temisan

Gbas gbos era: Plenty domestic violence cases but nobody’s talking about mental abuse – Ella Temisan



We’re too used to gbas gbos. Any small thing, we are fighting, shouting and quarrelling.


Nobody wants to recognise the real damage words cause to our inner being. And it’s probably because we trust actions far more than words. When words are capable of causing more lasting damage than any wound. The thing with wounds? They’ll eventually heal. But words? They lie within your heart and continue to fester until it is something ugly and unpleasant.


That’s why people enjoy being praised. It releases their happy juice. Anytime they call up that memory, they remember how being praised made them feel so they become happy all over again.


The same can be said for harsh words. They hold the same power as their opposites. They’ll just sit in your head somewhere and wait for the right time to mess you up. So, why aren’t we taking such things seriously? Why are we waiting till there’s gbas gbos to react?


I don’t enjoy engaging in physical violence. I also despise verbal abuse and exchanges. And I dislike negativity or stress. Just leave me out of it. Sadly, I’ve recently found myself increasingly amid people that talk without thought. They just open their mouth and waaaaa! Vitriol and ugliness pour out of it.


Gbas gbos is now sort of like a cool thing. Like, something you have to indulge in to get regarded among the cool cats.


Why are people like this? Do you know how prayer warriors talk about ancestral curses? I’m guessing their problems are generational. They must be acting out some childhood trauma.


Childhood trauma is a powerful problem. And I’d like to think that you get to a point in life when you grow past it because you choose to become a better person. But I realise now that not everybody can make good company in their growing up years. So, however they turn out, the world would have to deal with it.


Therapists need to become more mainstream in our current society. They need to start selling their market with the aggression of a struggling Instagram influencer. Why? I’ve decided that we all need it.


Ordinarily, I’d preach retail therapy as the solution for dealing with mental or verbal abuse. I would say treat yourself to something nice. You’ll feel better in no time. But these days, I need to vent. And vent with facts.


I want to look at somebody in the face and just spill it. I want to call names, curse, shout, scream, cry if I like and leave without feeling judged. Or like I’ve done something offensive.


I hope you cope with this kind of stress better than I do? I’m certainly not having an easy time with it. But this is your call to be kind with your actions and words. You may think you’re the victim but you could be victimizing somebody.

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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