Help! I lost my friends and I can’t find new ones – Ella Temisan

Help! I lost my friends and I can’t find new ones – Ella Temisan

Before I launch empty rhetorics about living single and lonely in Lagos, let me tell you one thing – guys make the best friends. Not that nasty bestie package everybody talks about, please. I am talking about pure, gist for hours, pour your heart our friendship. I have enjoyed a few of them and I can tell you that every girl needs a male friend in her life. They bring ZERO drama.



I have this WhatsApp group of me and a few friends from university. We didn’t become friends immediately in school. But you know how situations change and crowds mix because of shared goals? That’s how we became friends. They were battling to overcome a third class degree and I was fighting to cement my position in the second-class upper division. So, we became friends. In hindsight, the relationship has always been about benefits. They wanted a serious student to pull them along and I wanted company. So, we gelled. And continued to gel years after graduation.



One of my friends from this circle invited us to her wedding in Abuja. I was excited and looking forward to attending. I even bought her asoebi. We were chatting constantly about preparations and whatnots. The excitement was high, you know? I looked forward to attending her big event. She is or was my friend. But what happened? A few days before the event, I chickened out. Bills started piling up and spending over 150k on a wedding started to sing like foolishness to me. I was lost. At the end of the day, I made up a story about work stuff and dodged the wedding. The babe has not spoken to me till today.



Help! I lost my friends and I can’t find new ones - Ella Temisan


ALSO READ: Lagos: Why maintaining friendships is a blessing and a curse – Ella Temisan




I sent her apologies, nothing. Sent her best marital wishes, nothing. I even texted her casually after, she bone me. And because she is ignoring me, the other ladies are falling in line and giving me a similar cold shoulder. Na wedding I miss, I no kill person. But look at the drama.



Yes, I understand that I probably should have been upfront or tried somehow to make it to her wedding. But when your heart’s not in something, it’s not in it. And my heart saw my other responsibilities and abandoned any thoughts of party Jollof or peng photos. But na wa o. Na wedding I miss, I no kill person naw. I think I need new friends.

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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