I remember the time a couple of years (actually about four or five years back); when I was trolled on social media by a certain Adeyinka Grandson.
Apparently, I may have stepped on his grave in a former life, because the issue and tangent his trolling took off on, still baffles me whenever I think of it.
The annual “wife not cook” debate had started raging online and I had made a series of updates.
I had stated that I think women who feel the need to chant “wife not cook”; are a funny breed.
Most of them live in homes where the husbands provide a lion share of the rent, food and utilities.
For you to now cook the food so that not only your husband; but also your children and even your funny self can eat; you are online looking for cheap applause.
I felt a lot of women who subscribe to the “wife not cook” agenda on social media are crazy pretenders.
A lot of them would cook for boyfriends – not even husbands. They will cook, wash, clean, and even “pound yam” anyhow the guy wants.
Then when he sleeps, they will pick up their phone and quickly log into social media. There, they will start chanting “wife not cook”, “independent woman”, etc.
Yes, cooking is a survival skill that every individual should have.
But common sense dictates that in a home, a man and a woman (and only the two of them); can sit down together and decide what works best for their own relationship.
Not Silifa from Facebook or Njelika from Instagram’s opinions on how a relationship should work out. No!
“Wife not cook” to me, is a joke. So when your children come running to you for food, do you reply “mother not cook”? Or “mummy not milk factory”? I am not equating men to children o. Just wondering if the women that subscribe to this plan cook for their children and command the man to go and look for his own food elsewhere? Especially if the woman is a stay-at-home mum?
Anyway, Adeyinka Grandpikin chose to read my update upside down. Subsequently, he spent almost an entire week dragging me all over social media by my dreadlocks.
I pity myself that year, I swear.
My point? Social media is a minefield of dangerous generalizations, often fuelled by the fancies and fantasies of some inexperienced yokel;
who is just seeking a quick route to trend; by mouthing what the itchy ears of social media would quickly “relate” to and begin to spread as a gospel.
Like when “men are sc*m” started trending, and we tried to point out that; while whichever woman was leading the parade may have encountered a particularly nasty breed of the species;
not all men were born with the “S” chromosome.
There are still a hundred and one decent men for every one or two rotten bananas (all puns intended);
and it would not be fair – not to mention intelligent – to tar all men with the same brush;
simply because you were unfortunate enough to tango with the first born son of Beelzebub.
In the past week on social media, two significant events have happened to buttress the point that you shouldn’t generalize;
especially if you are hoping to imbue your words with some form of intelligence; and that “follow who know road” no be curse, na better advice.
Number one was the woman who decided to divide Igbos into two: the senseless on the left; and the sensible on the right.
She summarily gave the senseless group marching orders to leave her Facebook group; declaring them “insignificant in the scheme of things”.
Well, she forgot there was a third group of Igbos, the sensibly senseless ones.
By the time they rallied round and showed her how not to be a public figure; even those of us that claim to understand English understood differently that;
“some” can also be seen as generalization when morale is high – and for some of us; morale is on a permanent high.
Secondly, some other young man apparently had a vision in which what I understand;
were his very toxic parents were chasing him with a cutlass, and awakening from that vision, he proceeded to declare;
“You do not owe your parents anything. 90% of Nigerian parents are toxic”.
First of all, shut the eff up and take a stadium full of broken seats, son.
You are too young to allow such foolishness escape your mouth.
Come back to us when you have seen life and tone down on the clout-chasing. We see you flirting around from topic to topic seeking relevance and your painful naïveté;
as you try to speak on issues of relationship, marriage, sex, etc. is truly laughable.
Less than 10% of the people who read you take you serious and that number dwindles by the day.
Talmabout not owing your parents anything.
*in Lion Odumeje’s voice*, “Who be you? Who form you? Who you?”
Go away please and go and try to resolve whatever dormant issues you may have with your parents.
The rest of us owe our parents everything.
And we will do everything we can for them; both the parents that gave birth to us and the ones whose families we have blended into.