Nigerian politicians are beginning to rival some of Nigeria’s best comedy talents; the latest being the missives between Abia State Governor, Okezie Ikpeazu and Sen. Smart Adeyemi.
Indeed, the Senate Chamber that ought to be a hallowed chamber has been reduced to a comedy lounge. While talents like Ali Baba, Bovi, Basketmouth, Kenny Blac are missing in action due to COVID-19 related exigencies; we have some overpaid upcoming comic acts in the political space to regale us with dry jokes.
Sorry for the digression
Back to the mud fight between Smart(less) and Ikpeazu (the drunk). Whoever named Sen. Adeyemi “Smart” should win the greatest “punster” award. The irony is glaring. Mr. Smart that is not so smart…Here is a quick rundown of the gist. Sen. Smart Adeyemi, out of the blue and unprovoked called Ikpeazu a drunkard. He didn’t stop there.
He went ahead to hail Kogi State Governor, Yahaya Bello as the yardstick for good governance.
He even told us the favourite drink of the governor of Abia, which is surprising. Judging by the size of the midriff of Ikpeazu, a brand like Gulder with Nkwobi would have been the first guess. The myth on Gulder is therefore not empirically proven.
The Governor has, however, come out to declare that he is a teetotaller. That, in itself, is another statement that requires some examination.
On a more serious note, Sen. Smart ought to know that the yardstick for good governance in Nigeria is quite low. However, even at that, good governance and Yahaya Bello should not be found in the same sentence. Nah, the two have no business together.
Following a careful review of the comments made by Sen. Smart and an examination of the context in which it was made shows clearly it was intended to pick up a fight. And a fight indeed he got….Ikpeazu and his people came for Smart Adeyemi like bandits, more or less like Bobrisky dragging James Brown.
The reply by Ikpeazu was worded to drag Sen. Smart like a tiger generator. More like a diss battle between rappers. However, the punchlines were weak. The entire track was an attempt to certify Sen. Smart as a mentally unstable person. In fact, a review of the statement attributed to Onyebuchi Ememanka, the Chief Press Secretary to the Abia Governor shows that nine mental related punchlines were dropped. “Schizophrenic,” “mentally unstable,” “buffoonery,” “acute dementia,” “compos mentis.”
One thing to deduce from the rejoinder is that Ikpeazu is actually a good governor, only that he is dirty; which perhaps explains why Aba remains dirty. But the governor likes it that way. Or how else would one explain the governor doing remarkably well in students passing WAEC but unable to clean up the environment?
The rejoinder also alleged that the attack against Ikpeazu by Sen. Smart was due to a social media post by Enyinnaya Abaribe against Governor Bello. Which makes sense. War by proxy. You attack my governor. I attack yours.
Imagine if the fight should become physical. Ikpeazu vs Bello. Judging by some videos seen online, Ikpeazu will probably not the last two minutes with Bello in the ring. But if we turn it to a dancing competition, Ikpeazu might come out victorious. The man has got some mad flows.
Ikpeazu needs to be in alcoholism rehab, while Smart needs to be in Yaba. Unfortunately, none of these will stop their salaries from coming in. After all, Orji Uzor Kalu, while in prison earned more than most Nigerians.