Do you know Nanny McPhee? We need her in Lagos and Nigeria because ‘water don pass garri’.
First of all, some of us in Lagos started our lockdown one week before the action was announced nationwide. So, it has been over a month spent mostly indoors and avoiding people. A month of couch-surfing and internet living. Most especially, it has been a month of begging family members to also stay indoors; because we are trying to avoid stories that touch.
We did not do it only because we want to hide from the virus. We did it because we want to kick the Coronavirus out of Lagos and Nigeria. If a lockdown was to be the answer to going back to the way things were, then so be it!
What we did not expect was to go back into the outside and see things the way they were; or even worse.
I had hoped that some mega plan would be in motion; to make sure we are safe when we finally go back to normal lives. All the news about manipulating numbers of infected and dead persons, verbal autopsies and so on; I’d hoped it was just people talking in the nonsense.
What a time to place my hope in the efficacy of the Nigerian government, right?
Now, the third leg of the official national lockdown has ended in Lagos, Ogun and FCT. Folks, we are really being sent out into the world based on good vibes and faith.
Do you now see why I’m calling on a fantasy character from the popular year 2000 movies; to come and save us? She would just bang her crooked cane and let her magic do the rest. The world would be virus-free again.
Before you ask why I’m not calling on Jesus. Let me tell you that if I were Jesus, I would be tired of Nigerians by now.
We have watched the people in power spend many years throwing money around on the most inappropriate things; including pilfering huge sums enough to feed 10 generations. But now that we need serious funds, but to enable the brilliance that would help us see a way out of this pandemic, we are broke.
How is it that we were asked to stay indoors for this long. Yet, nothing was done to ensure safety once we go outside? Not a single handwashing point is set up at random locations. No subsidised facemasks and hand sanitisers are being distributed. Nothing.
Just “Insha Allah” and good vibes.
This movie will end one day. I hope the end doesn’t make us cry.