Lagos: Why maintaining friendships is a blessing and a curse – Ella Temisan

Lagos: Why maintaining friendships is a blessing and a curse  – Ella Temisan



No man is an island. This is very true. Unless you’re stranded on an island, (not necessarily Lagos Island), then you have literally become the island. But wise sayings or not, truly everybody needs somebody.


We all need somebody to be something for us at different points in our lives. It could be as a stylist skilled in nappy hairdressing or as a regular provider of well-cooked meals. Personally, if you’re in charge of the power switch providing electricity for my estate, then I need you. I need you to turn the switch on.


The most important way in which we need somebody is for companionship. This is a major reason why marriage will always make sense despite 21st Century wokeness.




Lagos: Why maintaining friendships is a blessing and a curse - Ella Temisan




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This person will be there for you, plain and simple. This would be the person you talk to at odd hours about anything and everything. In fact, this person will be your friend. You know the kind that doesn’t need too much romancing and salutations to validate your relationship? The kind that would wonder why they haven’t heard from you? That is the kind I am talking about. I believe having somebody like this in your life is a matter of necessity.


A beautiful thing about this friendship is how low maintenance it is. You don’t have to do much. Just staying in touch and keeping it real is usually enough. So, it raises a lot of questions when you start to want more out of it. Especially if you live in Lagos.


With Lagos State, the simplest things become complicated. In fact, what should be normal is abandoned for what is strange.


There is something about Eko that makes simple relationships look and feel like rocket science. It doesn’t matter where you live. Everything is long distance. Even when the distance is not a problem; the fear of being put under stress for “only 30-mins of fun” will make you undress and send an apology text.


And no, social media is not enough. That’s why Artificial Intelligence cannot be intelligent. Humans need to interact – physically.


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Sometimes, I imagine how things would have played out if the late CEO of Gokada lived in Lagos. He might have lain dead on his apartment floor for a while until his sister gathers the strength to brave Lagos wahala and check on him in person.





Lagos: Why maintaining friendships is a blessing and a curse - Ella Temisan




I’m thankful for friends that make the effort to meet up and check in despite all these challenges. If you have any of those, it’s okay to stop reading this. Please send them a message or even call them.


Everybody indeed needs somebody.



But it is also important to be the person somebody needs.

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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