When it comes to their sex lives, some women tend to have a mental catalogue of all the ways their partners aren’t quite measuring up.
In truth, some guys tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns them on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane.
But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, there are some mistakes women, on their own, make when it comes to sex.
And these six mistakes are top on the list.
Here we go!
Mistake 1. Not initiating sex with her partner
Many women worry about the so-called lady-like behavior and don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive or loose.
This is one of the greatest mistakes they make when it comes to sex. Most guys feel like they are always the ones initiating sex and this kind of sets up a disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship.
Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do and holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with sexual relationships.
If you are one of those who think women are less interested in sex, then you are wrong because women who are as interested in sex as men.
Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time and watch your partner getting to appreciate you the more. You will also find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience.
Mistake 2. Not defining what you want
Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and this ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.
Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face, rather, concentrate on the pleasure of the act.
You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm. Men want their women to abandon themselves during sex, and that’s not likely to happen if you are anxious about your physical concerns.
In truth, some men don’t notice half the things women are obsessed with anyway. Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health and youth and fertility.
So rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level, enthusiasm, and interest in him.
Mistake 3. Assuming sex is casual for a man
This is another old fashioned way of thinking that inhibits women’s ability to enjoy sex as much as they would want to.
They tend to believe that women are not sexual or that sex is, well, just sex for men. What these set of women do not know is that for some men, sex is a very important act and should not be trivialized.
Both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying. Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples.
That says a lot about the inadequacies of ‘casual sex.’ Never assume that your man is not romantic as this could also prevent you from enjoying sex.
Mistake 4. Believing he’s always up for sex
Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing, just about any time you ask, but that is not true for men.
The pressures of everyday life – family, work, bills – can zap a man’s libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often, his lack of interest in sex is something they take personally.
It comes as such a shock to women that one just can’t believe the reaction many of them have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for sex.
They know that they are not always interested in sex but they still love the man. But when they discover he doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘oh, he doesn’t love me;’ ‘he is seeing another woman,’ and such thoughts but this is not totally true.
He may not just want to have sex at that time and that does not mean he is ‘cutting any show’ outside.
Mistake 5. Not giving him guidance
Talking very directly about sex, what you like and don’t like, can make you feel uncomfortable, even with a partner you’ve been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to.
But this is the basic and assured way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship. A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter because no man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience.
Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know. The good news is that men very much want to please women, so if you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their egos, they will appreciate it.
Mistake 6. Getting upset when he suggests something new
After a couple has been together for a while, it is natural to want to spice things up with a little variety.
And just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your sex life.
ALSO READ: “Love Zone: How important is sex for men?”
In short, don’t take it personally. Though we are not insinuating that you should ever feel obligated to do something you don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of sexuality, you also have to be flexible and try out new things like sex positions and styles alien to you.
However, if your man asks you to try something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why.
Of course, do this in a loving way as best as you can. If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to, again explain why.
But on the whole, you should try it out first and if you are not comfortable with it, you should let him know lovingly.