Another tough day at the office. You’ve been working away at your career or business or family like the rest of us. Unfortunately for you, it hasn’t all gone to plan — it never does. How do you deal with the shame? Even though you gave it everything you had, you still don’t get the outcome you wanted.
Your business could be dying a slow death. A lost job. Dysfunctional family. Rough relationship.
It’s tough to always win and have all the parts of your life working out the way you want.
There’s always going to be at least one part of your life that sucks or is dragging down the other parts of your life.
Everyone has had their fair share of shame via unwise decisions at some point in our lives.
Then shame enters the room
With each of these inevitable challenges in life, the door of shame becomes wide open. You can easily fall for the lie that you’re not enough or destined to be flawed at one particular part of life.
You can begin to regret some of the actions you took and even become embarrassed by them. Letting shame rule your inner world is destructive.
There’s no point having regrets about the choices you’ve made because the truth is you did the best that you could in the split-second moment you cut off all other options and made the decision.
Shame wipes away all the good work you’ve done at trying to build a life for yourself.
You battle shame by first of all knowing that you are enough.
You battle shame by swinging the axe of vulnerability and being okay with making a bloody mess all over the place.
Learn to be vulnerable with your life and take risks.
Be proud you got a result even if it wasn’t the result you intended. Own the result and then use it to create an even bigger result. Whatever you do, promise me you won’t let shame win. You’re doing the best you can.
Keep showing up
You did your best and you failed. All you can do is keep showing up again knowing that eventually, you will get what you’re searching for.
Go to the next interview even stronger.
Start the next business with even more tenacity.
Look your partner in the eye and tell them you’ll love them even more from now on.
Pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams and reassemble them for the world to see. Show us who you are in the process.
It’s the best you can do
You were put on this planet for a reason, and the best you can do is not give up. It might hurt right now while you wallow in the pain of your misfortune or failure, but that pain won’t last.
We can all heal from pain when we think deeply about one idea, and one idea only: we’re all doing the best we bloody can. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a second chance. Take a break.
Then come back ten times stronger and go again.