Na who feminism don epp? – Joy Ehonwa

Na who feminism don epp? – Joy Ehonwa

I want to talk about YOUR feminism, because it is very likely that you are the designer of that thing you’re touting as feminism.

Women still earn less than men in many parts of the world even when they are as qualified as, or even more qualified than their male counterparts. Many women still have their clitorises cut off as babies because God forbid that a woman should enjoy sex.

A girl child misbehaves? She must be disciplined and taught a lesson so that she won’t go and disgrace the family when she gets to her husband’s house. A boy child misbehaves? Ah, you know boys will be boys…
The ones who were meant to protect have turned into abusers and oppressors. Feminism is pushing hard to clean up the mess patriarchy has made, so that our daughters don’t have to deal with the same issues we’re dealing with now.
How come you think we’re here for your blame shifting and attention-seeking pomposity?

Feminism strives for a world in which there is no sector where a woman cannot thrive, a world where every child is valued, male or female; a world where women receive full support that prevents them from sacrificing their calling and purpose because of motherhood; a world where the woman who decides to be a stay-at-home-mum is as respected as the woman who chooses to work outside the home. A world where women have a choice for goodness’ sake!

Joy Ehonwa New

In the world we dream of for our children, men and women will support each other across gender roles, so that no one gets left behind, instead of what we have now with a few exceptions — husbands and wives work 8-5 and bring in income, but it’s still the wife’s sole responsibility to cook, clean, and care for the children. How is changing this grossly imbalanced and unfair dynamic evil?
We want to raise sons undamaged by patriarchy, well trained, able and ready to collaborate fully with their wives to keep the home and both their careers flourishing. It’s not easy, but both male and female feminists are trying. No feminist is perfect; everyone is learning and unlearning daily and there is always room for improvement.
Enter the professing woman feminist mostly on social media who purports to know everything. Because of her over-sized ego and vastly bloated sense of her own importance, many can’t see feminism for what it truly is. Her bitterness and the bile that she spews, her man hating, her insecurity and self-esteem issues, and her lack of manners, cast a shadow over the real work of feminism. You don’t find her helping other women up or educating them; no, her job is the opposite. Many blindly follow her, and then when their poor harassed husband leaves, they blame it on feminism. They never think that maybe it’s just them. They don’t realise that some of the most fulfilled men are married to feminists who know what it means to be DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

common feminist
Feminism is not rude or selfish, neither is it about insulting and demeaning men. Feminism does not read sexist meaning into every compliment a well-meaning man pays. That’s just individual bad behaviour. And feminism is certainly not about replacing patriarchy with matriarchy, or bashing women who want to get married or are happily married.
Feminism does not go “ALL MEN ARE…” just because certain men behaved badly, neither does it let women get away with violence against men. It does not ignore the struggles that men face neither does it ignore female privilege. It does not support a double standard even when it appears to be in a woman’s favour.
The truth is that patriarchy doesn’t affect only women negatively; it ruins things for men, too. Men who can’t take care of their living spaces, men who can’t cook for themselves, men who generally walk around feeling entitled, men who are unable to express emotion, were all done a great disservice by patriarchy.
One Sunday, a guy was sharing a painful experience in my workers’ training class and when he started crying, TWO men, one older and one younger went up to him to comfort him. I was pleased. Males have been brought up to suppress their feelings for too long, and it’s not healthy for them, or us. Na who “be a man, be a man” don epp? Be human!
Every day, feminism gets blamed for many things, including ruining marriages. You know, if you looked closer, you’d realise that perhaps it’s actually patriarchy destroying your marriage, or maybe your own just dey your body.


Read more from Joy

5 Things Rich Couples know that Others Don’t – Joy Ehonwa

9 Things I wish I knew when I was younger – Joy Ehonwa

Keep Doing This and You’ll Never Find True Love – Joy Ehonwa

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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