Naija Boys Can Lie, sha! – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Naija Boys Can Lie, sha! – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Fish swim

Birds fly

Soldiers die

Boys lie.

Of course not every boy. And then again, some dudes remain boys forever. In the quest to get a girl, there is nothing boys will not say. The problem is girls have itchy ears. Or sometimes they are just plain insecure and dependent on constant adulation to feel good about themselves. So, the guys get creative with compliments or exaggerating their feelings so that the girls can give ’em some.

Let me tell you one of the best lines a boy ever threw at me. I was in my late teens and hadn’t started uni just yet. I knew about the guy and he did not know this. Girls talk. Luckily I always listened. You see, the reputation of a guy always precedes them. Only girls who do not listen or listen only to the boys are prey. I knew he was a womaniser. I knew he was currently dating a good friend of mine. I knew sex was all he was after. So when he came to me with the lie, I was prepared.

I am not bad looking. But I am no beauty queen. I know this and accept this and I even like myself the way I am. I may have had some insecurities then but they mostly bordered on my physical shape and not my face.

So the dude creatively comes at with

“I wonder what it feels like to be a girl like you.”

Ehmm girl like me how?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You know to be very beautiful and knowing that every single guy wants to be with you.”

Shege dan iska!!!!

I have to admit, it caught me off guard.

But I was honest to myself and I knew the guy. Most importantly I knew myself and nobody was breaking down my papa’s door because of my beauty.

I knew he wanted me to feel good. To feel so flattered that I melt before him like Bobrisky away from the filters and under the hot sun.

Bobo never jam bad market!

I took him off guard.

I owned it.

“Well, I don’t really think about my beauty. I am sure you don’t wake up thinking about how you look or how people react to how you look.”

The guy blinked.

I was supposed to lower my eyelids and giggle.

Well, he did not go anywhere with me.

These lies cause too many problems.

When I was at university, there was a day I was going for lectures in the morning and there was this girl that was walking ahead of me. She was plus size.

Pretty face but not shaped in a traditionally attractive (let me borrow the words of Amber Rose) manner. She was wearing a lycra body suit… like a swim suit with a pair of jeans. You know how some trousers are ill fitting and tend to gather in between the legs of the person wearing it… that was what was going on with her. To make it worse, the jeans hovered above her ankles in a ‘jump up’ manner. Her 3 layers of muffin tops were on display. Her butt looked awkward but hey… it was nobody’s business.

She passed a group of guys who were lazing and they began to throw compliments at her.

”Men, looking set!”

“Babe, you are looking correct today.”

“Hot hot hot!”

She lowered her head in a shy manner and thanked them profusely in between giggles.

Yeye boys.

The moment she was out of ear shot. They started laughing. One of the boys hushed the others saying the girl could hear them.

Tomorrow, when she is wondering what outfit to wear, she will remember how she got so many compliments when she wore the lycra body suit and jeans and she will keep wearing it.

But who am I kidding?

The lie is always sweeter than the truth.

“Babe, you get k legs but I will not mind to straff you..”

Is guaranteed to work for no one.

When I was single, a married man kept thrashing his wife. She was nasty and ungrateful and he was not happy… yada yada yada.

Today, 12 years later, he is still with his wife and they have had 2 more children.

The ultimate lie “I can’t live without you.” Ok, I don waka and you are still alive…

I do not have any advice on this issue. Or maybe just a little.

“To thine own self be true…” was once said by Robert Mugabe I believe….

Never lie to yourself. It makes it difficult to fall for the lies of other people.

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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