The general idea is that the average Nigerian man, educated or not; wants a traditional home where they are the breadwinner. They want to feel needed, they want to feel respected. Indeed, they want to feel like they are providing as it is biological and ingrained in them.
But…according to Nigerian relationship expert, Joro Olumofin; a shortage of “economically-attractive” women could be to blame for the decline in marriage rates among single men in Nigeria this year.
In a post he made on Instagram, he said; “A lot of ladies didn’t get married or meet a suitor this year because of their bank account balance and socioeconomic status. The state of relationships has changed. Men are now more materialistic and demanding than women.
“Years ago, women seemed more materialistic and had a Checklist; A man must have money, a car, a house. Ladies, BREAKING NEWS: Men are no longer interested in a Pretty Face, God-fearing woman and Good cook as a primary benchmark for finding a wife. Today’s man’s primary benchmark is money.
“Today’s man is interested in 1. Your father’s surname; 2. Today’s man doesn’t want to hear I’m unemployed; 3.Today’s man wants to know if you have a car, your own place; 4. Today’s man wants a lady who can change his life.
“This is the main reason why thousands of Beautiful, God-fearing ladies are single. So, ladies, you’re not hustling for yourself alone anymore. You’re also hustling for men too. This is a new reality.”
As you would imagine, there was a myriad of comments from his followers. A lot of Nigerian men actually argued that the times have changed. Further, they held that the woman indeed needed to bring something to the table.
My thoughts: First, why would any man want a partner with no financial plan in place? Where does she see herself in 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Is she thinking long or short term?
That answer should determine the course of the relationship. Ideally, she should be able to think past next month’s car payment and project how much she will have in her savings account by year’s end.
2019. Marriage is still based on love, but it also is fundamentally an economic transaction. Many young Nigerian men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain; especially as young women’s educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors…
Therefore, it makes sense that they hunt for a woman with a level of financial independence.
Secondly, I agree that Nigerian men have moved on from the idea that; until men can provide for a family, they don’t feel comfortable dating seriously or making a lifelong commitment.
Nigerian men are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have. Successful women tend to have a good future and not just Nigerian men, but everyone, appreciates that. They want a successful partner who has a bright future ahead and can guarantee a comfortable life.
And I don’t think money is the only reason. A successful wife will be respected and held in regard by everyone. Successful women also tend to be in a good mood often than unsuccessful ones who keep complaining all the time about how unsuccessful their life is.
Nobody likes people who keep complaining all the time. Again, a woman who has the same income level as him will ensure they share an equal relationship; which is an important factor in whether a relationship can go further and longer.
If two people are self-reliant, they can better understand each other and be confident when they communicate.
However, to play the devil’s advocate; I also cannot help entertaining the idea that no matter how much these Nigerian men say they want an equal partner; a woman who’s economically-attractive- smart and financially independent, would probably make them feel emasculated or inferior.
What do you think?