Nigerian women and a tale of two marriages – Viola Okolie

Nigerian women and a tale of two marriages – Viola Okolie



Two marriages that had lasted beyond the length of what we are used to for relationships that are in the public eye and Nigerian consciousness trended last week.






One in far-away USofA, the marriage of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith; and the other closer to home – that of Daddy and Mummy GO Adeboye. When that of the Smiths started trending, I watched in awe as Nigerian women; who will not use the back of their ear to hear that their man was looking at another woman; hailing Jada like she had just invented a way to board keke from Giri Junction in Abuja, and end your journey in New York City.



Nigerian women and a tale of two marriages – Viola Okolie




I couldn’t believe these were Nigerian women stanning and pakistanning what I felt was a woman’s indiscretion within a marriage; one which totally hurt her husband. We could see the look on his face as he struggled to contain his hurt; while fist bumping her and declaring “bad marriage for life”.




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Nigerian women went wild.




They loved this.




As I watched their glee, I wondered who were those leaking nudes of their husband’s girlfriends and side chicks; organizing mob squads to go and beat the other woman up, etc etc. Hah! These Nigerian women must be from another planet.



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And then, Daddy Adeboye took to social media to eulogize his wife. Subsequently, these women took a break from pakistaning Jada; to getting “really really upset” with a man that dared to celebrate a 50-year-old marriage to a woman who seemed to have taken the time to understand her man, and was enjoying the effect of a peaceful home and long lasting marriage.




Nigerian women and a tale of two marriages – Viola Okolie



Bear in mind that this marriage had lasted longer than ages of these extremely ‘‘angry birds” o, but I digress. Let us not talk about how the Adeboyes marriage passed the seven-year mark; while these people’s parents were probably still running around naked in the rain. Also, it approached the 10-year mark before their father even knew that he had the ability to produce babies; if he so much as “looked” at a woman.




This marriage probably celebrated its silver anniversary when their fathers finally cooled down long enough to marry the woman whose parents refused to let him get away with sowing his wild oats inside their daughter.




But again, let us not digress.




One quick question: if you were sick with a very bad disease, and you were set before two doctors. One who had never had the privilege of handling a case like yours. Also, from their utterances, they are not interested or patient enough to see a patient through to recovery. The second has had years of experience in treating patients like you. Further, he/she can produce evidence of at least 50 cases where the patients went on to experience full recovery and are now doing well.




So, you are still unsure. Therefore, you decide to engage the two of them in discussion. The young, inexperienced doctor believes if he tries once with a patient and the patient doesn’t respond to treatment; then euthanasia is the next option. There is no point wasting time with a critically sick patient; especially when you can find one that is not too sick. In fact, one that will not stress you too much to care for.




Nigerian women and a tale of two marriages – Viola Okolie



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On the other hand, the other doctor from his years of experience is willing to adjust. He is willing to make changes that would ease his patients’ conditions; while helping them along the path to recovery. Some of the things he may need to do may sound “unconventional”. But he is determined to be with his patients until the very end. Again, his attitude is an “all or nothing” attitude. A ride or die mentality. We will get through this together. Whatever it takes, I will do.




Quick question: which of these doctors would you agree means you well? Which of them would you entrust your life to their care? Which of them would you feel happy opening your purse and paying? Also, which of them would you happily invest in their hospital and practice and even provide referrals for?




So now we have before us: Tolani from Twitter.




Track record. Zero marriages. About 24 failed relationships; all of which she ended because she couldn’t afford to take that rubbish from him. Wife not cook and etc etc. Always dragging authority in her relationships like someone dragging the rope of a tiger generator that has knocked engine twice in the past. Cannot cook for her man but wants to eat take out frequently. Aged somewhere between 25 & 30. Curiously, most men she has dated just want to quickly have sex, borrow money off her; then leave her as traumatically as they can.




And you also have before you: Mummy GO Adeboye.




Track record: one marriage to a world-wide renowned public figure. Well educated. Works but in her husband’s private holding. Makes time for her man. Cooks for him as often as she can. Has no problems with changing her schedule to accommodate her man. Has no wahala with him being the head, neck and shoulder; if that is what will make him happy. All she wants is a peaceful marriage.




Now you have before you these two “road modems”.




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Which would you choose if you were planning to get married? Or have had a failed marriage or two and want to understand how some others have succeeded in theirs?




Because you see, while it is one thing to follow the “woke” crowd on social media; it is another thing to realize that most of them don’t practice what they preach.




Brain has been given to a lot of us. Therefore, sense is expected for us.




As for me and my household, we “stan” Mummy GO Adeboye. Much respect to you, Ma’am. You deserve every single word of the accolades and respect your husband sent your way on your birthday.

About The Author

Lilian Osigwe

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer.

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