No, Fani-Kayode didn’t ‘caught’ her sleeping with another man! – Peju Akande

No, Fani-Kayode didn’t ‘caught’ her sleeping with another man! – Peju Akande

 

The recent drama between Femi Fani-Kayode and his wife casts the mind back to another sordid allegation.

 

 

Remember James Brown, the cross dresser in that popular video, “They didn’t caught me”? He was arrested by police who claimed they caught him in a homosexual act and when reporters interviewed James for his version, he was vehement: “…no, they didn’t caught me, where is the evidence…”

 

 

No, Fani-Kayode didn’t ‘caught’ her sleeping with another man! - Peju Akande

 

 

The “They didn’t caught me!”  video was an instant hit!

 

 

I agree with James Brown. The police didn’t caught him…err, I mean, the police didn’t catch him in the act! They may have had their suspicion because of his effeminate looks. But they never caught him in the act and like James Brown kept asking, “Where is the evidence?”

 

 

Up till today, the police haven’t been able to produce one. James is out of prison and twerking his stuff on social media with an amazing followership.

 

 

I got the same feeling after watching the latest Femi Fani-Kayode video! The one where he attempted to take his estranged wife’s phone as she filmed him. Mr. Fani-Kayode responded to the video; saying this was days after he caught his wife in bed with another man!

My take is, he didn’t ‘caught’ his wife having sex with another man because like in James’s Brown’s case; where is the evidence?

 

 

The Fani-Kayode marriage troubles has got us all enraptured and as usual, Nigerians are taking sides. First, it was a case of domestic violence. It was reported that the marriage broke down because Fani-Kayode was always brutalizing and bullying his much younger wife, Precious Ckiwendu. Then it devolved into counter accusations especially after the video leak on Sahara reporters’ website. This is what we are told. It all fell apart after he accused his wife of sleeping with another man!

 

 

Yeah?

 

 

How so, uncle? Where is the evidence?

 

 

ALSO READ: Dear ladies, some guys are mad. So, if you don’t like him, don’t ‘chop’ his money – Peju Akande

 

 

A wife caught cheating would not be doing a video recording…of who? A Nigerian woman caught cheating by her own husband would not even be in that same house with the cheated husband… But let’s back track.

 

 

 

If indeed Mrs. Wife was caught cheating, mehn, she’s got balls!

 

 

 

No, Fani-Kayode didn’t ‘caught’ her sleeping with another man! - Peju Akande

 

 

She was caught cheating and could still pick up her phone to do a video recording?

 

 

 

Impossi-can’t! In the first place, except of course in Nollywood movies; no cheating wife or husband leaves the door unlocked so their significant other can just walk in on them!

 

 

No!

 

 

Cheaters lock doors, they are always coding. They never leave their phones unattended. They watch their convos with their cheating partners and most importantly; or they go through extreme lengths not to get caught!

 

 

And you don’t need to be a cheater to know this…It’s common sense! Of course, in Nollywood films, cheaters are always caught. Their partners just walk in and voila! There they are with their rumps exposed!

 

 

 

So how did Mr. husband walk in on Mrs. wife with her partner in crime? Was it in a guest house? Their home? Where?

 

 

 

Secondly, if a Nigerian man of Mr Fani’s temperament catches his wife cheating…Looooooorrrrrdd! He’s gonna be madddddd! He’s going to be throwing things and beating her so hard; she would not remember she has a phone not to talk of doing a recording days after.

 

 

 

Their convo would be more like this…

 

 

 

Mr. husband: Your own is finished today! I will expose you to all our staff, your useless family; your stupid friends and your nonsense villagers! You are finished! Chai! I have been robbed!

 

No, Fani-Kayode didn’t ‘caught’ her sleeping with another man! - Peju Akande

 

 

Mrs wife: (Sobbing pitifully) Please my husband, biko forgive me. I beg you; it is the work of the devil, I beg you, please, please…

 

 

 

Mr husband: (Not hearing one word, not caring, feeling cheated, hurt and very spiteful): I say your own is finished today! Shameless woman! I will kill you myself! Precious! Precious, you have touched a tiger’s tail, I will finish you today!

 

 

 

Onlookers: (Because Nigerians love drama): E don o. Don’t come and go and ki another man’s pikin o! Oya you sef, iyawo, start packing your load, shameless woman! She will just be shaking her useless yansh all over the place. See your life?

 

ALSO READ: Old age: Who sent me on this race? – Peju Akande

 

 

And the scene would gather more onlookers and they would apportion blame…Same as we are all doing on social media now!

 

Onlooker 1: You this small girl sef. After you see the man has had several wives before. You don’t know the cane he used to flog the three wives before you is still hanging on the rack waiting for you, too?

 

Onlooker 2: These big men tire me. When you run after small, small girls; you don’t know they will go and look for action outside when they see you can’t perform?

 

 

And the comments will get raw and nasty. Please go online to find the rest!

 

 

 

Ok, so Mrs. Wife clearly has some sort of evidence that suggests physical altercation…In the video, she is heard saying, ‘you are always assaulting me, I am tired of it; to which Mr. husband replied, “why are you always looking for trouble.”

 

 

Now, I don’t know much about Mr. Fani-Kayode beyond what I read in reports about him and the much I have read; I have never liked. Am clearly no fan of his and for the sake of clarity; I am also no fan of people who put their domestic affairs online. So, I really don’t know what Precious was trying to prove here.

 

 

 

 

But by and large, this sort of issue; a matter between husband and wife should be dealt between the husband and wife! Third parties can only be invited where they can’t seem to agree! Bringing your issues to the marketplace is like carrying a stick dipped in honey…Flies will harass you! Mr Fani-Kayode should know that.

 

ALSO READ: Biko, where does Nedu get all the buxom ladies in his comedy skits?- Peju Akande

 

 

Sometimes, remaining silent through it all may just be your best defense. You have kids, they will grow up and see the sordid details of your chequered history! Their friends would read it. The families of the children your children will befriend will read and may decide; perhaps your kids shouldn’t be in the same company as theirs…Why give cannon fodder to people to make judgments on issues they only got scraps of information on?

 

 

You are the man. You are older. We expect you should be wiser. Just keep chot!

 

 

 

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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