Nigerians have knocked themselves silly over the video of Pastor Enoch Adeboye, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Church of God (the most populous Church in Africa) telling his congregation not to marry men who have no jobs.
For obvious reasons, I am deliberately ignoring the “…don’t marry a woman who can’t cook…” part of that video. I’ve already shared my opinion, I hate cooking, shoot me even though at the time of writing the piece, I was totally unaware of the Pastor’s video.
For the avoidance of doubt, I respect Pastor Adeboye; apart from once being a member of his congregation, I also paid my dues diligently at the monthly Redemption Camp gatherings back in the day, so I can say with some certainty that the man knows what he is saying.
Now, back to the Pastor’s sermon, “…don’t marry a man who has no job…” Pastor, I honestly wish you had made this statement a part of your routine years back. Yes sir, this message could have saved many homes. You see sir, I have heard many of your pastors telling sisters to stop their yanga and marry that ‘available’ brother even though he has no job today. Their reasoning was always: “God is taking him places tomorrow…do not despise the days of small beginnings.’ Blah blah bleeerrr! And might I also add here that the church isn’t the only institution saying this.
Our mothers echoed it, our aunties loved to remind us of so and so, who married a jobless man and is “reaping the benefits today.”
Years back, I was one of those who listened to this platitude and advised a sister to go ahead and marry a man who had no job. You see, this sister had turned 35 years and had searched high and low, far and wide, had prayed and fasted, gone up the mountain and down the valley in search of the seemingly elusive husband all to no avail. Then from one of the darkest corners of this earth, fate spat him forth, a scraggly, two-faced lying illiterate who was squatting with friends.
‘He asked me to marry him’ she told me.
You want to marry a man who has no home, no job and the only claim to humanity is his membership of a Redeemed church!
“He’s a devout Christian,” she told me as if that would make up for the rest of what he lacked. No amount of excuse would do for her to change her mind and thus she married him after practically sponsoring the wedding and marriage afterwards.
He turned out to be the monster we always knew him to be.
Unfortunately, the church is breeding many such monsters today, the Redeemed church is good at organizing programmes for women, in fact, every Parish has a women’s fellowship but how many have men’s fellowship? Too few. Every month, there’ll often be some women’s programme that range from home management to vocational training in different fields that will help women increase their streams of income and many times it gets down to downright vigil from 10pm to 5am chanting and praying for kith and kin and binding every demon known to mankind scratch that, make it womankind. (I told you I was once an ardent member) But it’s not so for the men who were exempted because as men, they were born holier than women?
I always wondered why the men were never more engaged seeing as many were actually failing in their supposedly God-given roles as providers and heads of homes. As a result, women are being built up through these programmes while the men remain behind JUST because they have something stuck between their legs!
Perhaps they imagine their God given role as head of the family is incontestable. They obviously haven’t heard the oft chanted Christian mantra, “Power must change hands!” isn’t this the reason many women are bread winners today? Rather than let a family starve because of some no good man, God looks around and sees a woman who’s got her hands full of craft and gbam, she’s running with His vison, shikena.
So Pastor, See why I think you ought to have been preaching this fact since way back?
And to you, dear supposedly jobless ‘eligible’ bachelor, you are simply not eligible, in fact, that word doesn’t apply to you and this is regardless of how old you are. Truth be told, the society helped you gift you this false sense of self-importance you parade, so I don’t really blame you for thinking you qualify to be called the husband of so and so or the father of so and so just because of the thing between your legs. It’s the malaise in our society that encourages this kind of crazy thinking, same thinking that gingers you to have an erection.
It’s strange how a man who has no job can think of sex. Have you notice that they are the ones whose wives are always pregnant! You can’t pay your bills but you can knock up the wife, shameless man!
Like I said, the society encourages this nansense, especially to the so-called unmarried brother, they will encourage you with words like, “Tan’n mo’la?” meaning who knows tomorrow? They will tell you that marrying that sister, who already has a good job will open doors for you. They will cite examples of “Big big men today, who married as paupers.” They will tell you “the Lord will provide.”
Ogbeni, your joblessness already disqualifies you for marriage and if you are already married, get something doing because there are bills to be paid! By the way, are you aware there are hundreds of vocational trainings you can go for? Or do you consider them beneath you? I have heard some say, “I went to school na, I can’t just do any job.”
Oh, you haven’t heard of Segun gele, the guy who ties gele for women and smiles to the bank. So, you think he didn’t go to school? And there are many men doing what women traditionally do and making big bucks! But you’ll prefer to sit on your lean ass and claim, “I’m a man” even though it’s madam who brings home the dough. Where’s your dignity!
Your claim to manhood isn’t your third leg, even dogs have it!
It’s your ability to hold your own, it’s your ability to fend and provide, it’s your ability to rise up again and again after life kicks you in the groin, it’s your ability to truly be head or else, even God will replace you!
And in case you are wondering what God has to do with this, you better read it here:
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Timothy 5:8.