Relationship: Why men and women see infidelity so differently

Relationship: Why men and women see infidelity so differently


There is a school of thought that says if a woman cheats; it is more likely to signal an end to her primary relationship than if a man cheats.


And this may, in fact, be the case, because men and women tend to think and feel differently about sex and relationships.


Men are generally more likely than women to be able to compartmentalize sex and intimate connections.


For many men, mating is mating; and relationships are relationships, and the two do not necessarily overlap.


Thus, a man who casually cheats may do so without feeling a significant degree of emotional connection to a mistress; while a woman who cheats could see things differently, with mating and emotional connection intermingled in ways that make compartmentalization more difficult.



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Stated another way, when women cheat, there is usually an element of romance, intimacy, connection, or love.


Men, on the other hand, are more likely to cheat to satisfy sexual urges, with fewer thoughts of intimacy.


Of course, many men cheat because they feel love as well as sexual attraction for an outside partner; but many more don’t: For them, infidelity can be an opportunistic; primarily sexual action that, in their minds, does not affect their primary relationship.


In fact, when asked, many such men will report that they’re very happy in their primary relationship, that they love their significant other, that their sex life is great, and that, despite their cheating, they have no intention of ending their primary relationship.


Women are less likely to operate that way.


For most women, a sense of relational intimacy is every bit as important as the sex; often more important.


As such, women tend to not cheat unless they feel either unhappiness in their primary relationship or an intimate connection with their extracurricular partner — and either could cause a woman to move on from her primary relationship.




Source: Psychologytoday

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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