It is difficult to have sex with your husband when your parents, his parents, your children, your guests, or whoever are in the same house with you.
Sex is supposed to be a private affair between two married people. No audience, thank you very much.
Even the mere notion that someone can hear you or knows what you’re up to can make it hard to relax and enjoy lovemaking with your spouse.
Here’s what’s a couple do when the presence of others in the home cannot be avoided?
Avoid them. Yes, I know I just said that they cannot be avoided. However, when you can, try having sex when they aren’t there.
Make the most of such opportunities. You might even suggest, “Hello, Mom and Dad, didn’t you two want to see that new movie?” “Don’t we need milk from the grocery store, and you could go together?” “How about you two take walk around the block . . . several times?”
Get creative with timing. Couples often think that the night is perfect for making love. But that’s often the time when you’re lying there wondering if the other residents are sleeping yet. You’re whispering to each other, “Do you think they’re still awake?” and “Maybe we should wait a few minutes to make sure.” So try different times when they are not likely to be in their room. Do they eat breakfast in the kitchen in the morning?
Have a wake-me-up love session. Do they work in the yard on a Saturday afternoon? Try a little afternoon delight. Do they watch the evening news?
Tell them you’re going to watch something in your room and then watch each other undress. If the best time is night, go right ahead. But you may need to work around your schedule a bit to figure out what the best times will be.
Cover the noise. Invest in a radio, a fan, or some other item that will create some background noise.
Then you’ll be less worried about the sound factor when you’re gasping, moaning, or rocking their bed like an amusement park ride.
Of course, you might want to vary what you play or do; otherwise, your mother will be in her room saying, “They’re playing that same song, Ed. They’re at it again.”
Spend a night away. If you can afford to get a hotel room once a month, do it.
Take one night, stay at a place in town, and have a whole night with just the two of you. You should still engage in intimacy at the parents’ house, but this one night will be an opportunity to let go entirely and do whatever the two of you wish to do. Can’t afford a hotel?
Get a tent (borrow one if you need to) and go camping for a night. You can probably find some beautiful locations in your neck of the woods. Do a little online research or ask around for recommendations of where to go.
Make it a romantic night with a picnic, a quick tent-raising, and then some tent-ceiling raising with a night of ecstasy.
Change your location. You don’t even need a whole night away. Where can you go for an hour? How about having sex in your car?
Or grabbing a blanket and a bottle of wine or sparkling cider and finding a private outdoor spot? Perhaps the bathroom in your house is more conducive to lovemaking? You might make some of your best newlywed memories by thinking outside the box and figuring out where else you can engage with one another sexually.
Remember they’re rooting for you. Ask yourselves: What’s the worst thing that could happen? They’ll know you’re having married sex.
If you love the people in your family, you want the best for them. Even if their own attitudes toward sex are less than perfect, most parents desire their grown children to experience healthy intimacy.
Sure, I admit that I don’t want any details about my kids’ sex lives once they are grown and married. But I do want them to have good sex lives! And if I overhear a little “ooh baby” from their bedroom when they are with their spouse, I will make a beeline to the other end of the house . . . with a smile on my face. Your parents probably feel the same about you and your husband.
To put it bluntly: Your father has put the shotgun away, and he knows that his son-in-law is doing his daughter.
Imagine them having sex. Hey, for all you know, they’re one floor up saying things like, “Do you think they’re asleep yet? I really want to make love tonight.” At least you hope they are!
Don’t we want our parents to have the intimacy God designed for them? — even if we absolutely do not want to hear any of the details! My point is that you might be cramping their style a little too.
Consider that your presence may impact their intimacy and then relax as you realize that you’re in the same boat.
The first few times will likely be uncomfortable, but you will both adjust if you make an effort.
This is a good experience to work through because, even if you never live with your parents again, you will probably stay in the same house with other people at some point and want to be intimate with your spouse.
It can be done.
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