Naturally, all of us dream of finding that ideal relationship – one that is harmonious; brings both joy and fulfillment, and allows us to grow to become better versions of ourselves.
Unfortunately, life is a process of hits and misses and we all have to go through a failed relationship one way or another.
Finding yourself in the middle of a failing relationship can put you in a very difficult dilemma.
Should you stay?
It is not easy to end a relationship; especially if it has lasted for a long time and feelings still run deep. You might also say that you are not the type who gives up easily and you have to tough it up.
However, when holding on to something already jeopardizes your health and happiness; it might be time to make a genuine assessment of where your relationship is heading.
They say that it takes more courage to let go than to hold on. Perhaps the following situations will help you find that inner strength to finally decide to put your happiness above someone else’s, and move on.
When there is too much drama
Instead of being each other’s support, you are constantly fighting and arguing; or exchanging insults and hurtful words. Instead of tolerance and understanding, you are always pointing out each other’s faults.
Situations like these can make you feel emotionally defeated, but you have to power to live a more victorious life once you decide to move on.
The spark is gone
Do you remember the time when you were counting the hours to be with your special someone? If you are wondering where that feeling is now, then it might be a clear sign that the spark in gone.
The lack of chemistry or romance will make you feel like you are just friends; rather than a couple. Of course, there are ways to rekindle the spark but if this does not happen after several attempts, it might be the right time to move on.
Your paths are not congruent
Your relationship is not supposed to be a hindrance to your dreams; but it can be when what you are aspiring for does not coincide with your partner’s.
For instance, you might want a career in the corporate world while he prefers a homebody; or you want to have children and he does not.
Certainly, there are ways to meet in the middle but you can only compromise so much. If you give up too much of your dreams to stay in a relationship, you might end up resenting it in the long run.
Trust becomes an issue
All relationships are built on trust; and without it, there is no point in continuing in a relationship.
You are taken for granted
In order for a relationship to work, effort must come from you and your partner. The balance of give and take must be maintained.
Otherwise, if you are the only one who is doing all the giving and your partner is not reciprocating; the relationship will drain you physically, mentally and emotionally.
There is abuse
There is absolutely no excuse for your partner to abuse you physically, verbally or emotionally. Even if he asks for your forgiveness and tries to make up for it afterwards, the abusive act itself should already be a clear warning for you to get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
You are no longer involved in each other’s lives
Some say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Being indifferent is when neither you nor your partner bothers to play an active role in each other’s lives.
Meaningful conversations cease and there is nothing to talk about other than small, trivial talk. In this case, you may have grown apart and the best thing to do is let go and move on.
When you are no longer happy
Relationship issues can be very complicated but it really boils down to one simple matter: your happiness. If the relationship is causing you more sorrow instead of joy, more tears instead of laughter, then it might be an opportune time to cut ties and move on.
Latest posts by Lilian Osigwe (see all)
- Tips for first time parents - December 12, 2019
- How to add life to your dreadlocks - December 12, 2019
- Single Mom: How to cope with the stress in Nigeria – Nkem Ndem - December 12, 2019