Sometimes bad things happen too early in marriage — Peju Akande

Sometimes bad things happen too early in marriage — Peju Akande

They say there’s nothing new under the sun but a mother going to her daughter’s home to pack her out of her matrimonial home/marriage is on another level.

There are some stories you hear and you swear, this can never happen!

Unfortunately for some people, they do.

As the story goes, a young woman is said to have discovered her new husband of six months couldn’t get it up in the morning. When I heard the word “discovered,” I asked, “Discovered, as in, she didn’t know before marriage?”

She didn’t. Her husband didn’t want sex before marriage.

Also Read: When a man chooses his mistress over his wife — Peju Akande


Commendable if he was being a good Christian boy. But if it was a ruse to hook a girl for the sake of marriage…then that was a problem that would bite him in the butt.

The young lady, an only child of her mother but not of her father was said to have reported to her mother that two months after marriage, they were yet to consummate the marriage!

When Mama heard her, she screamed, “Eewwo! Over my dead body!”

She wondered why her daughter waited for two whole months before saying anything. Well, turns out the husband had told her he was on a dry fast for some ridiculous reason for the first few weeks. This must have been puzzling or embarrassing to the young woman who kept this secret until she talked to a newly married friend of hers.

 The friend asked her to see if her husband had morning erections, if not, she should prepare for a life of marriage without children. When the young lady reported that her husband didn’t even rise to the morning sun, her friend was said to have advised her to begin to look outside.

“Look outside for what?”

Well, thankfully our young lady didn’t listen to her friend’s advice, that was when she told her mother and Mama went berserk!

Mama told her she would leave the man.

That’s an unusual mother, I think. Nigerian mothers don’t tell their daughters to leave their marriages after two months. They often tell them to wait, maybe a miracle would happen and the dead would rise again.

But this mother was the one who was reported to have called her son-in-law, and given him three months’ ultimatum, “…get her pregnant or she leaves.”

This brought in a few close family members to the young couple’s home…and of course, that’s how stories like this leak.

Anyway, the husband’s family members begged for a few more months to check their son. I wasn’t told what that meant.

But as for Mama. I wondered, did she find out if the cause of her son-in-law’s erectile dysfunction is because of some illness, stress over the recent wedding, or issues at work…and well, lately, we hear young men suffering erectile dysfunction due to overuse of devices…could any of these be a reason?

If the son-in-law were her own son, would she be happy his wife is being advised to leave him?

What if her daughter had been the one unable to bear children, would she be eager to have her son-in-law leave him after less than one year of marriage?

It just seemed unfair!

And what of the young wife in the whole matter? Shouldn’t she be the one to decide if she wanted to stay or not?

I have no answers, since as I said before, it was a convo I jumped into.

Well, the mother-in-law was said to have gone to her daughter’s house and packed her out! She ended the marriage herself.

Oh Mama!

We all agreed Mama didn’t do well. But I kind of sympathized with her.

The young lady is her only child. She raised her in hopes of having grandchildren. If the young lady had been told prior to the wedding that her husband was incapable of fathering children, maybe she would have been prepared for it or she may never even have ventured. That choice was taken away from her

She would have spent money and effort running from pillar to post the way many women who are looking for children do.

Maybe that is what Mama saw and decided to shorten the agony of her daughter being called barren. For a woman who is said to have just one child, she wouldn’t be spared much ridicule by her husband’s wives who are said to have more children than her. So she didn’t want her child to go through any of these.

However, as arguments go, another school of thought didn’t think it was wrong if the young lady cheated to have a baby. Their argument hinged on the fact that the husband knew his limitations and yet went ahead to marry her and put her in a desperate situation.

Maybe he didn’t deceive her. Maybe he loved her and didn’t know how to tell her. Maybe he was treating himself in the hope that, well, he would get better…and maybe he couldn’t get it up because he is gay, as someone speculated…hey these things happen.

I’m not sure what the right answers are. I just know there are two young people hurting right now and wondering what their lives would be like in the next few weeks, months, and even years.

I hope the young man gets the help he needs and I hope the young woman finds someone who will be a good husband and father to her children because you see, marriage isn’t just about having kids. It’s companionship, friendship, honour, loyalty, and above all the love between two people who have chosen to live together for as long as they have breathe.

Related posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.