The wages of adultery should never be death – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

The wages of adultery should never be death – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

 

 

Adultery is a major issue and is often regarded as the highest form of reproach in unions.

 

 

I don’t know who made this so.

 

 

I don’t know why the highest betrayal in a marriage is having sexual relationships with someone else.

 

 

Of course, it is bad to do so. No one enters a monogamous relationship with the thought of being cheated on.

 

 

The betrayal hurts.

 

 

I always wonder why people find it hard to be honest with each other. If you are tired of a relationship or a marriage, then say so. Why keep a relationship and stay stepping out?

 

 

You don’t want to hurt your partner by leaving?

 

 

Bro! Sis! You have left already. They just don’t know.

 

 

Adultery hurts.

 

 

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you really love and made plans to stay together forever with. You pontificate to people about the perfectness of your relationship. One day, it all comes crashing down.

 

ALSO READ: Dear men, this is how to commit adultery – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

 

 

Or even you sort of suspected. You prayed it wasn’t true. You confronted your partner and they denied it over and over again. Then, one day, you finally get proof. In a text or a chat or a DM or even a friend saw something and told you.

 

 

The devastation and the hurt is the first thing. You feel heartbroken.

 

 

The wages of adultery should never be death – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

 

 

The second thing is the humiliation. The thought that there is someone your partner goes to dally with; while you are going happily on with your life. It feels like being laughed at behind your back.

 

 

 

The decision on how to proceed with the relationship. There is no path that will bring succour. Not divorce. Not separation. Indeed, not even a decision to stay because of the kids or because of how finances are structured.

 

 

If you leave, there is no guarantee that it will not happen again with someone else.

 

 

If you stay, there is no guarantee that it won’t happen again.

 

 

Trust issues are developed. Cynicism finds a space between your stomach and your heart.

 

 

Nothing is the same any more. You may be lucky that time will numb the edge so much so that while you may feel the scar, you will not feel the pain.

 

 

Or that you even find someone that is finally able to convince you to believe again. To trust again.

 

 

Adultery is horrible.

 

 

But adultery is not a capital offense.

 

 

In fact, adulthood has taught me that a lot of couples find room to accommodate adultery. Weird, isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

ALSO READ: Cheating: Why are men furious when women do it? – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

 

 

 

You find women who know the man is stepping out. But since he comes home to them and does not shirk his responsibilities they find a way to make their lives comfortable.

 

 

A lot of men would balk at the idea of the women sleeping around. But women are great at hiding such. It is also not unheard of when a man forgives a cheating wife.

 

 

Over last weekend, the news broke on the death of the CEO of Super TV. The blogs and the rags claim that he was stabbed to death by a side chic and money was stolen from him… A mere N5 million.

 

 

Such a sad ending.

 

 

Money he probably could have parted with without batting an eyelid.

 

 

But the most shocking conversation I have seen as a fall out of this tragedy is that he should not have stepped out on his wife. This was penance for adultery, many said.

 

 

People said he would still have been alive if he had stuck to his wife. Someone did a sort of warning to all men.

 

 

“Cheat on your wife and die.”

 

 

I found that to be bizarre.

 

 

I think like a wife. Because I am one.

 

 

Anytime I see in the news that someone has died during an adulterous romp in a hotel with some woman, it hits me hard. The grief of the wife left behind is on many levels. Not just the loss of a partner. But the humiliation of having details like that splattered all over the internet; as well as knowing that she would have to go through life, with that following her.

 

 

Cheating on a partner is bad.

 

 

It happens all the time though. People who cheat should face consequences. But death is not one of them. This IS why I am appalled at people who kill simply because they catch their partners having sex.  It is bad but surely not an insurmountable issue.

 

 

ALSO READ: Divorce is bad o, but I love it – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

 

 

No marital vow hands over the life of another human being to you. Forget what all those movies and songs say.

 

 

Till death do us part doesn’t confer killing rights on anyone.

 

 

No one should nod and say an individual got what he deserved because he had sex outside marriage.

 

 

 

The wages of adultery should never be death – Abiodun Kuforiji-Nkwocha

 

 

That is insane.

 

 

My good people.

 

 

The wages of adultery could be separation.

 

 

It could be divorce.

 

 

It could be losing the person you love because they refuse to give you another chance.

 

But the wages of adultery could never be death.

 

 

NEVER.

 

 

Let God met out the judgment.

 

 

The only moral to the story of the CEO of Super TV dying is that he unfortunately found himself vulnerable to killers.

 

 

Saying he deserved it is a shitty thing to say.

 

 

No one deserves to be killed like that.

 

 

The voice of condemnation against his killers should be unanimous. There was no need to kill him.

 

 

Marriages end, leaving people a chance to go find their happiness.

 

 

But when we die, it all ends.

 

 

May he rest in peace. May his family be comforted. And may his killers pay.

 

 

Amen.

 

 

About The Author

Osigweh Lilian Oluchi is a graduate of the University of Lagos where she obtained a B.A (Hons) in English, Masters in Public and International affairs (MPIA). Currently works with 1stnews as a Database Manager / Writer. [email protected]

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