After all the premium dragging that our darling Lagos suffered last weekend; I concluded that there can’t be anything special about living here.
But I’m having second thoughts.
There might be something special, one special thing, about living in Lagos after all.
I lost my Aunty a short while ago unexpectedly. And the number of family meetings we’ve had within a month, ehn? My head is aching just thinking about it. If you have a large extended family, then you know what I’m saying. It’s plenty work! When you think about it, it’s just burial o. But after all the meetings you’ll think it’s a coronation ceremony we were preparing for.
I loved this deceased Aunt a lot. She was one of the few persons that made having family meaningful. But when she was pronounced dead, she stopped being a person and became a not-too-distant memory. All that was left was the issue of committing her body to earth as is normal.
So, if burial was our focus, I kept wondering why all the ceremony? Unfortunately, the minute your family start to attach “suitable” before the word burial anytime they want to make a speech, then you know it’s no longer a small something.
On the one hand, I understand them because Okpe people love to uphold tradition. Also, my Aunt was not a “small woman”. Whether living body or not, she would not be sent forth without noise. On the other hand, I am modern enough to understand that a burial can be simple and affordable. But who will tell the elders?
That’s how one family meeting became three, four became six and it just went on and on. Old vexations started to rise up and new beef was formed. It was Fuji House of Commotion but with plenty bitterness and dislike. I hated it. I hated that I had to even be there. And I hated that my Aunt died and forced us to sit together for this series of quarrelling.
This is why I’ve decided that living in Lagos might be good for you if you want to avoid family toxicity.
Living in Lagos is the solution to minding your business. Not that you can’t do it while living anywhere else. But the problems of Lagos just support the lifestyle organically. The only thing you’ll concern yourself with is yourself and your immediate family. Anything that a phone call cannot solve should just stay like that because you can’t kill yourself.
If you think I’m lying, ask yourself when last you dressed up to visit an extended family member even on a Sunday. It’d have been ages ago! You know why? It’s because you’ve learnt to care from a distance. You’ve found value in focusing on your peace and living in Lagos brings too much wahala for you to buy another person’s problems.
There are people who still try to stay involved and I’m proud of them.
But if you’re a true Lagosian, then you know that what I’m saying is true.