So, Toke Makinwa is trending. Apparently her husband has a roving member. Some blame her and her career. That is plain silly. Men cheat and this has little to do with their wives or partners.
Why do men cheat?
This is purely guess work. I do not know for sure.
- Lack of discipline. As a bachelor, you never gave yourself limits. If you like her and she gives, you will take. You grew older and slightly more discerning. So, aware that you are ‘wanted’ commodity, you sample all the wares placed before you even though you knew only one would get the ring. You woke up one morning and ate egusi 3 times a day and got depressed. This same egusi till I die…. Ok I will try. That lasted the first opportunity you got to rush a bottle of coke and fat oily puff puff. I am sorry to be comparing women with food, but gaskiya, to some men, that is what we are.
- Men are not trained to be monogamous. I am sorry it is the truth. You are told that you are the lord and women come a dime a dozen. Cheating is not looked at disdainfully here… except it is a woman that cheats. It is kind of expected sef. “haka ne maza” (men are like that). Check out the adulterous woman, na her everybody wan stone but the man himself, got away without consequence. Polygamy does not help. These days the ‘main chick’ ‘side chick’ thing is joked about. We shouldn’t do that. We legitimize cheating for men by accepting different nomenclatures. “Na me e go marry na” kikikikiki , don’t worry, when you are promoted from Fiancée to wife, cheating will not be painful.
- This is a combination of the reasons women cheat. Men can be emotionally starved as well. Madam don become madam, church don close. “I am his wife.” The women sit on the throne and treat the men like prisoners. Starved of affection and in a house that is no solace, a well prepared meal, a warm body, a nod of understanding, a sympathetic gaze and he will fall ‘yakata’ for the next available babe.
- Bobo don hammer. You buy the land cruiser you always dreamt of. The wads of cash bring in new friends. Before, you closed from work and went straight home for dinner because you could not afford to buy nkwobi and big stout, you can now close down Mama Nkechi’s special Joint in Festac. Nobody go hear word. Madam’s stretch marks that you kissed and caressed when she gave birth to Obinna now look ugly. The CS scar she got because of placenta previa when she had Ikechukwu is now unsightly. Her simplicity which you claimed attracted you now repulses you. Truth be told, the simplicity was not the attraction, she looked low maintenance and you were thinking of your finances when you married her. In some cases, you knew she loved looking good and had ambition. You were proud to show off her svelte figure and stylish ensembles. Now she is materialistic and not domestic enough, also she loves her job more than her marriage. Kai men, there is just no pleasing you, is there?
- Finally men cheat because they can. Madam will forgive. She will even fight the other girl. Her church will tell her to forgive. They will tell her to give up her career and give her man proper attention. Her mother will tell her to learn new recipes, her friends will tell her to lose weight, her colleagues in the office will tell her to learn new sexual positions (especially if they are civil servants…. Story time before oga comes back from Abuja.) They cheat because they can. Cheating is not a deal breaker in Nigeria.
That list is not exhaustive too. Wait fir this one –
I once heard of a woman in Living Faith Church who had a husband that was cheating with a particular mistress. She got wisdom and started praying that his ‘abunan’ will fail with any other woman but her. It worked. He even gave testimony in church about this holy ‘magun’
My dear sisters, if all else fails, I am sure you have a Living Faith church nearby.
If it works, please don’t forget to mention me in the testimony.
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