“Dear Editor,
My name is Vivian, a 38-year-old mother of three. My husband of 12 years, Paul, has been making life a living hell for me all through our marriage as I have been going through serious pain and anguish.
My husband is such a brute, sadist and has turned me into a punching bag and beats me at will, even at simple things that couples just laugh about. When we were dating, Paul was a very caring man and a gentleman to the core.
In fact, he never lost his temper even when I did something wrong but the moment we got married, he changed and became a monster. He would pounce on me at any time, even in public and would tell anyone who tried to intervene that I was his property.
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Even when I became pregnant for the first time, Paul beat me up and I had a miscarriage. The funny thing is that after beating me up, he will come begging, promising never to repeat such again but within days, he would be back at it.
I know how many times I have had to be admitted in the hospital with either a broken arm, leg, ribs or swollen eyes all because of his beating.
In all of these harrowing experiences I have gone through in my marriage, our pastor and church elders still think there are no grounds for a divorce, often quoting some Bible portions to support their assertion that there is no place for a divorce in the Bible.
They keep telling me that since we got married in the church, then under no circumstances could we get a divorce as we were joined till death did us part.
And because of that injunction, Paul believes that no matter what he does to me, I will still stay with him but I fear that he could kill me one of these days as he has not reduced in the intensity of the beating.
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I need to run for my life and stay alive for my children but our pastor and even my family members think I must stay put and keep praying for him to change.
I need help fast.
Vivian.”
Dear readers, after reading Vivian’s story on True Confession today, what do you think she should do? Should she go ahead and get a divorce from Paul against the advice of her pastor or stay put and hope he will change?
The issue of divorce is still a very controversial one among Christians and I really don’t want to argue it. However, she can go for separation and at least run for her life now. If the lady has parents/family, they should accommodate and support her and if they belong to the school of thought that she should remain in the marriage no matter what, the issue will then be a question of finance. If she can afford it, let her get a house and move. A woman at this point needs a lot of courage and must be ready to turn a deaf ear to people’s comments. She is in the problem, not them! The man will not get better. Often times Nigerians refuse to accept that such men have mental and psychological disorders that need to be dealt with. Leaving will give her time to think through her situation and make a decision on what she wants to do with her life.
At the end of the day, it is HER LIFE that is in danger, not the pastors’. And if she dies, it is her children who will go motherless and be subjected to Hell because it does not appear to me that their father can care for them either.
The active word here is LEAVE while you still can!
At this point, you need to separate from your husband while you keep praying for him, as a matter of fact you have no peace and in such state you can’t serve God better. Please and please, its better to stay alive with your children alone than to live in hail.
To not divorce him. separate and
Keep praying for him in Faith.