President Muhammadu Buhari recently dropped another clanger.
‘‘Many of those misbehaving today are too young to be aware of the destruction and loss of lives that occurred during the Nigerian Civil War. Those of us in the fields for 30 months, who went through the war, will treat them in the language they understand.”
What does it take to shock the President awake? Apparently not all the kidnappings and wanton murder of innocent citizens in the Northern part of the country. Those are his misguided brethren who must be begged and wooed to release innocent women and children in their clutches; pleaded with to stop murdering and massacring Nigerians.
No matter how many bombs are let off in the Northern part of Nigeria; no matter who is kidnapped and killed, na beg our President dey beg them.
“Please I beg you, release the students you are holding in the name of God”.
A President of a country who has an approximate location where the kidnapped students are being held; who also has at his disposal all of the country’s security infrastructure. It may be wishful thinking to expect a stealth operation that would surround and neutralize the bandits while keeping the hostages safe. Indeed, I must have watched too many foreign movies to think that these ones can carry out operations and rescue citizens.
“In the area of security, we have changed the Service Chiefs and the Inspector-General, and we are demanding that they rise fully to the challenges confronting us. There must be zero tolerance for all those bent on destroying our country by promoting crime and insurrection.”
Perhaps, President Buhari forgot that one of the sterling qualities against which the decision on who to replace the immediate past COAS – who died in recent tragic circumstances – was made, is an ability to speak Spanish and crack jokes.
A President who loves to read the comic sections of newspapers more than the main news sections and laughs and laughs while doing that; plus a Chief of Army Staff who speaks Spanish and loves to crack jokes? Wonderful combination.
The Chief of Army Staff could accost kidnappers and insurgents and address them in funny Spanish memes. The insurgents and kidnappers would be so entertained that they will burst into laughter; the sort of laughter that would eventually lead them to collapse out of breath and die. But only if they are from the North do they deserve to die laughing.
If they are allegedly from the South East, neither they nor their victims deserve to hear Buhari and his COAS’ funny jokes. No! For them, both fine gentlemen will stop laughing and show them their red eyes! After all spare parts dealers are too serious to comprehend the jokes that the Fulani herdsmen are playing around their lives and livelihoods.
So, why should anybody laugh with them?
“I receive daily security reports on the attacks on critical national infrastructure…It is very clear that those behind them want this administration to fail. Whoever wants the destruction of the system will soon have the shock of their lives. We’ve given them enough time.”
Dear President Buhari,
Please, this state of shock that you have been in since you were rigged into office in 2015 appears to be the best state of mind for citizens o. Because you appear unperturbed and undisturbed by anything whatsoever that is going on in the country.
Not even the abandonment by your wife was enough to suspend your state of shock and see us witness some action from you; the alleged no-nonsense tiger that was elected to shred insurgents into pieces. Apparently, we dialed a wrong number.
Instead of a tiger, we got a pussy cat.
Baba Buhari, maybe this your “threat” to shock whomever it is you are presently shadow boxing with could be the best thing ever to happen to Nigeria and Nigerians. Because when we think of someone being “shocked”, the mental image we dredge up is of you relaxing; with your feet up on a footstool, picking your teeth and largely undisturbed and unfazed by all the noise around you.
If by your threats to give bandits and insurgents the “shock” of their life – this is what you refer to; then we will take it under the principle of “at all at all na him bad pass”; even though we would have preferred that you unleash upon the insurgents in the NORTH OF NIGERIA and decimate them; so that the whole world will see that you are serious about fighting people who have so consistently threatened the lives of Southerners and Christians; that they have now turned upon themselves and have made “every man Nigerian” their targets!
If you can shock them into sitting in one place and picking their teeth like you; then we will take it unto “at all at all” levels.
What we do not understand is how you are lethargically relaxing; watching one section of the country run riot as they please; only popping up once in a while to beg them to stop raping and maiming and kidnapping and killing; as if there is evidence anywhere in the world that pleas are successful and sufficient to hold off terrorism; then suddenly developing a steel spine when the problem appears to be coming from “your in-laws”.
But the region that produced your driver, gateman and cook.
They are not allowed to breathe.
Small movement from that side, you begin to issue threats left, right and centre.
This definitely leads us to believe all those conspiracy theories that alleged that the recent disturbances in the South East was just a plot to enable you focus on the objects of your hatred – Ndi Igbo.
Anyway, President Buhari, just to let you know that the international community is watching you. We are watching you. The whole world is watching you.
Also remember, that we are your in-laws o.
So, tread softly.