What is a pastor doing in bed with a woman in hijab? – Peju Akande

What is a pastor doing in bed with a woman in hijab? – Peju Akande



What is a pastor doing in bed with a woman in hijab?


At an event over the weekend, I got into a discussion/ argument with a few friends over the success of a relationship where the partners practice different faiths; especially if one of the spouses or partner is a pastor or imam? Not possible, I said, at first; and I did have my reasons.


Then one of us cited the examples of former Governor of Lagos State, Raji Fashola and Bola Tinubu. Both are popular Muslims whose wives were known to be Christian.That was until someone reminded us “…these people aren’t exactly the model we are talking about here.’’


By ‘model’, the sister meant, neither Raji Fashola nor Bola Tinubu were imams and none of their wives was a pastor.


Another friend maintained, ‘model’ or not, he saw nothing wrong in a marriage such as this.


A fervent Christian among us quoted a Bible passage I have heard too many times. ‘What fellowship light with …darkness? Thou shall not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…’


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Thankfully, our small crowd of discussants also had a Muslim sister who reminded us of a Surah in the Quran.


‘ O disbelievers!


I worship not that which ye worship;


Nor worship ye that which I worship.


And I shall not worship that which ye worship.


Nor will ye worship that which I worship.


Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion.…’


All these considered, does it mean that there can be no ‘happy’ union between couples who share different faiths?


How did we even get into this argument in the first place?


I’ll tell you.


So, there was this couple, sitting a distance from our small gathering. They looked happy and quite content with themselves. The husband is a pastor and his wife, a devout Muslim. As I learned, she doesn’t attend the church her pastor husband set up.



What is a pastor doing in bed with a woman in hijab? - Peju Akande


‘I won’t ever go to that pastor’s church,’ my friend nodded towards the couple.  ‘That Pastor has not learned to ‘rule his household. I can’t be under such a pastor.’


‘Why?’ I asked


‘His wife is a Muslim; she doesn’t even attend church.’


I thought that was wrong.


‘Was he a pastor when they met?’


‘No, he only became one few years back. Few years is enough to convert your family. If you can’t convert your family, how can you convert others?’ my dear friend replied.


That’s how we started a hot debate and were soon joined by a few others.


‘The pastor would have no right to bless any marriage since his is in jeopardy.’


‘Who says it is? We see him with his wife on social occasions. We see him with her in their children’s schools. He is there at family gatherings, when he can make time…Who says his marriage is in jeopardy?’


‘I won’t trust a pastor whose wife is not a member of his own church.’


‘Is she a member of another church?’



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One friend said, as far as he was concerned, the pastor’s marriage should have no bearing on his faith.


Back and forth we went until I became convinced that our arguments were baseless. Further, that the arguments didn’t define the pastor, his marriage and even his wife for that matter.


They looked to me like a happy couple who, despite how volatile issues of religion is in our country, have shown that love and tolerance conquers all.


Then I remembered a couple who couldn’t make theirs work. They lived in our neighbourhood way back in the early 90s. Indeed, they were a loving couple.


The man, he was a Muslim, one we saw making the daily pilgrimage from his house to the mosque at the end of the street with his tesibiu dangling between his fingers.


His wife, we also knew, was a member of the Celestial church. She would always walk past our house every Sunday, shoe-less in her white sutana and chef-like cap.


After a while, neighbours began to cite them as the example of who not to get married to when one was looking to find a partner for life.



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They became a bad example because the man, let’s call him Uncle Mukaila to mask his identity, soon became the imam of the mosque. Thereafter, this changed the dynamics of his relationship and marriage. It became pertinent for the Imam to have an Islamic practicing wife.


Therefore, it didn’t look good to have Aunty Moji – (again a pseudo) wife of the Imam of a local mosque chanting hallelujah at the celestial church just three streets away.


I am sure if uncle Mukaila had asked his wife nicely, things would have been different. This was the way my own father asked my mother nicely for years to convert from Christianity to Islam. And she eventually did.


Performing the hajj reluctantly, taking on a Muslim name and learning to pray five times daily…which wasn’t such a hard thing at all, considering that 20 years down the line, she is actually better in the faith than the man who coerced her into it for the sake of the marriage…


Mother has come to accept that faith is personal, regardless of how she prays. Since she wasn’t bowing down to a stone or rock or tree. Her faith in God is unshakable. So, whether she is on the praying mat or on her knees, her God is constant.


Ok, let’s roll back to Uncle Mukaila.


He pummeled Aunty Moji to submission. For the sake of the marriage, for the sake of her children. For the sake of not wanting to be called a divorcee…She became a Muslim…a bitter one.


Meanwhile, She snuck to churches far from home. She joined an underground congregation and eventually left Uncle Mukaila.


That’s how they became the bad example.



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Faith is a personal thing and personal as it is, can either be strengthened or chipped away at. Depending on who one is co-habiting with.


I get the point that the pastor may find congregants who would question his authority, if his wife, as they all know, is a Muslim and abstains from church. However, marriage has never been a one size fits all and should never be defined by people outside it.


So kudos to the pastor and his hajia wife!


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1 Comment

  1. Al

    This is insane. The rantings of someone who does not understand true, biblical Christianity. The Bible specifically prohibits (in Old and New Testaments) the marrying of someone who is a believer with an unbeliever, or in the traditional terminology of Christianity towards Islam an infidel.


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