In Case You Missed It, an interesting event happened on Facebook Naija branch last weekend.
A young lady — who had “motivated” other young girls like her to push through their travails and reach for the “jollof at the end of the party” (the Nigerian equivalent of “the light at the end of the tunnel”); by posting pictures of herself in front of a mansion she purportedly built eight years after she was kicked out of a one-room apartment by an unfortunate ex — got the shocker of her life.
I will tell you how this story went, by asking you to imagine a couple of scenarios:
1: You are sitting in your house, catching up on the news on the telly when suddenly, you see a well-known celebrity posing in front of a G-Wagon. She is being interviewed by a breathless reporter and she tells a fantastic tale of how she bought this car after a long travail at the hands of Kẹkẹ riders and Uber drivers. To God be the glory, she is not just a car owner now, but the owner of one of the most ruggedly luxurious brands in the world.
Very motivational story but for one detail.
The car looks achingly familiar to you. You know that number plate because you spent a lot of wasted man hours queuing up at the vehicle licensing office to get them to issue it to you.
It is your car.
Parked in front of your house.
You live in an ungated estate and had remembered seeing those “celebrities” cavorting around in your estate last week, but you didn’t know they were planning to buy your car from you.
Another little problem.
You actually part-financed the car with a four-year auto loan from your bank. One of the conditions of the loan is that, you would not resell the car without their advice.
What to do?
You decide to take it like a joke and call the television station to tell the reporter that it was actually your car and the celebrity is just an “idiot” girl, but you don’t mind her trying to tap into your blessing.
You think any reasonable human being would “take dressing”; and laugh it off but what is this you see?
You begin to get angry and issue a more serious disclaimer and then holy Moses! This celebrity actually starts pulling out title documents, lease agreements, licensing papers to prove the car is hers and not yours.
You rush down to your car park and the car is still there.
Your phone starts ringing and it is your bank manager at the other end – “Sir, did you sell the car without recourse to us?”
Your wife walks in from the other room in battle-ready mode – “Honey, what have you been doing with that celebrity? Why is she posing with your car? Any confessions you want to make?”
Your friend is calling on the other line – “Nna, kee way gi? E don reach wey you sell your ride you no tell us? E don bad reach like that? You for tell us na make we raise you small cash, what are friends for?”
Your mother is on the landline, consoling your wife – “All these men are the same, my dear. Even his father tried that stunt with me but don’t worry, I am his mother. Let me hear from him whether it is not me that suckled him again and if I did not suckle him for complete 18 months.”
Your heart rate increases and you fear a heart attack.
Brethren, what would you do if you were in such a scenario?
- Imagine just for one moment that this hapless blogger, looking to influence other young ladies by borrowing (without the original owner’s permission) to pose online, was not a woman.
But a man.
A scruffy-looking young man.
With dirty and dog-eared dreadlocks.
And tattoos that look like one of his pals burned them into his skin with a piece of hot charcoal after a night spent smoking some of Kwale’s finest?
And dirty “once I was white, but now I am turning brown” boxers peeping out atop his sagged jeans.
And that when accosted, he mumbles something along the lines of him being the real owner of the house while the real owner was just an impostor.
And insists his claim is real.
What would you do?
Forgive and forget while all around you, you are fast losing credibility and status because this human is backing up a stoic insistence with videos stolen from your premises and forged documents that purport her to be the owner of the property?
Or follow through and ensure that whoever it is retracts said ownership to the property via the same medium they broadcast it?
Which would you choose?
What would you do?
Choose and respond wisely o, because some of you are beginning to distress us with what you present as your first response in crises situations.