It has been a good couple of weeks for mature women getting married. First it was Rita Domini and then it was Kemi Adetiba. Rita really shut down the internet with her beauty and style and the fact that her friends were so excited for her. Kemi, from the pictures that came in, was an absolutely divine bride, radiant in all the outfits she wore.
I don’t know anything about the grooms other than how good they looked. They also did not look like bums.
So is this a good sign?
Is there hope for many women who are inching towards 40 and have even crossed over heading towards 50 and beyond?
It has always hurt me that women seem to have a ‘sell by date’. We have been given a shelf life not just by society but by Mother Nature. I can’t really blame Mother Nature. I get the point. At some age, a pregnancy is a general risk to one’s health. To carry a pregnancy from the first day till the last is not something women advancing in age can do without a toll on their health. So, merciful Mother Nature fazes us out of the child bearing age.
The society is unmerciful about something we had nothing to do with. They interpret this to mean that we are past our prime and desirability stage. Because the same society is upset when we have babies without being married, you find many women panicking as they approach 30. If I could count the number of times a woman said yes to a man because she felt she was getting too old…I would not have a break in counting.
Many women have entered into murky situations with questionable men and freeloaders just so that they could beat this age limit that hangs over us.
Finding genuine love for women of a certain age is now a tall feat. When you are older, men of your age who are older are mostly taken. The pool of eligibility drastically shrinks to a puddle of divorcees, widowers and young men looking for a come up, waiting to use and dump you. There are also the married men who cannot be satisfied by a wife that are also afraid of the small merciless girls that will tax them without fear. The mature independent woman becomes a fair game. She can take care of herself and also understands that a married man has other obligations. She will be mature about it.
The truth remains that despite there being few eligible men, the desire to find a partner doesn’t diminish even when a woman gets older.
Who doesn’t want to love and be loved?
I have always wondered why genuine eligible men restrict themselves to the young women. Older women have so much to offer and I don’t mean their money. A man can benefit from their experience in life and avoid a lot of early age related drama. Men that are afraid that an older woman will be infertile are silly. Infertility also happens in younger women. Science has advanced so much that there are many possibilities when it is time to have children.
Rita Dominic and Kemi Adetiba both share a few things in common apart from being ‘older’. They are both accomplished and acclaimed in their various professions. An industry whereby women are easily maligned and seen as promiscuous is the industry that these women have thrived in with good reputations. It is exciting to see them find love and celebrate it.
Perhaps men are seeing that older doesn’t mean you have lessened in value. It would be nice for everyone to be in the same pool. I dream of love that knows no boundaries in its quest to find a mate. I am a romantic to a large extent.
Am not saying that every woman should marry. Some do not want to, and that is perfectly fine. But for women who don’t want to navigate life alone, I pray that they meet the person for them and not settle for just anyone. I pray that flimsy barriers of age and status are broken.
Lastly, there is nothing like being past your prime when it comes to love. May you dare it and find the person to share it with.